


No, we're not friends

by zagadka4



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Dorks in Love, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, POV First Person, Romance, Slow Burn, Trust Issues, self hate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-01-06 20:30:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18395798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zagadka4/pseuds/zagadka4
Summary: Set after season 1. Some months have passed after the battle of Bright Moon and Adora is concerned about Catra, who’s been absent from the clashes that followed the big Rebellion victory. The kingdoms of Etheria make their allegiances, while the Horde plots new plans to regain the upper hand over the Rebellion. An unexpected guest knocks at Adora’s door and causes disarray in the court and in her heart. Trust Issues are going to be raised, as much as questions of loyalty and duty. Truth and lies are going to mingle, while Adora and Catra are tied together in a bond of love and betrayal that could either lead to redemption or destruction.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First important note that you must know is that I'm NOT native, so despite all my efforts to write correctly and agreeably I'm afraid you will find some mistakes (that you can point out to me and I'll edit). This work isn't betaed.  
> This is meant to be a multichapter story with some plot and lots of feelings. It's mainly written on Adora's POV (with some exceptions of Catra's POV) and the parts in first person are narrated from Adora herself (mainly in scenes where she and Catra are alone).  
> My plan was to write it all and then post it, but since it's set after season 1 and season 2 is coming soon, i decided to start posting now even if i haven't completed the writing (but I have 9 more chapters ready). The title is taken from the song "Friends" from Ed Sheeran, which inspires me for this story.

Adora breathes in the cold air of the night. From the balcony of her room she can see a good portion of Bright Moon with its lights sparkling through the darkness. Moonstone is gleaming and casting silvery light from the height of its tower, like a protective beam radiating over the city and its inhabitants. That sight usually soothes her. Looking at the city she’s contributed in defending. The city that’s welcomed her and is now her new home. But tonight the scenery can’t soothe her much and her brain is gnawed from thoughts that won’t leave her alone.

There have been more fights against the Horde after that big victorious battle of Bright Moon from few months ago. The one that is already ascribed to legend as a new chapter in She-Ra’s saga, after a thousand years of silence. Despite the big victory and the Rebellion being now compact and strong as ever before, the Horde is far from defeated – Adora thinks to herself - for they still have lots of territories occupied and many others besieged. They still have plenty of resources, hundreds of blindly devoted soldiers and huge equipment of robots and war machines - which oddly seems to be even enhanced as of late. There’s still Shadow Weaver with her magic and her manipulative schemes. And there’s still Lord Hordak with his mysterious powers, his tyranny and his thirst for dominance.

But one thing has been missing in these last few battles against the invaders - nothing more than scuffles truth be told, seemingly thrown without any real purpose, just out of habit.

Adora is pondering again to herself about that one element that is missing. She rubs her temples while closing her eyes. Isn’t it what she’s been fiercely missing for a long time now?

Catra.

She wasn’t there in the battles, not in the front line where Adora - in the comforting guise of She-Ra - was expecting to see her: armed with both sharpened claws and scornful words, attacking with both bared fangs and biting remarks. Neither she was in the rear lines dispatching orders for the troops, conjuring up tactics and plots she’d become so skilled with.

She-Ra had purposely raked through the garrisons in search for her former friend – delaying to a further moment the wondering about the reasons for doing it so intently - and didn’t find any trace of her. It was unusual. Since Adora first defected the Horde, Catra had always been there among the ranks in the battles that She Ra had partaken. Scorpia was in the lead of these last few attacks and Adora was quite sure that if she were to engage an hand to hand combat with her, she’d manage to poke her enough to make her talk and say more about Catra’s absence. But Adora hadn’t dared to expose herself that way.

Sweeping away those scant and scarcely motivated troops had been easy; chasing away the speculations about why Catra wasn’t there, why Adora couldn’t help herself but strenuously look for her on the battle field, why wouldn’t Adora openly inquire after her with Scorpia, why wouldn’t these questions give her respite and stop spinning in her head all the time… that was another story.

Glimmer and Bow have noticed her brooding mood and tried to make her talk about it, but Adora would play things down and just blame some trouble with sleeping or worry about the war. Which are actually both true, but not the core of her concern. Of all the people on Etheria her two new friends are perhaps those she least want to be aware of her thoughts for Catra. After all the cat-like girl kidnapped them with the purpose to hit Adora. Such act resulted with Glimmer being tortured and cursed from Shadow Weaver and Queen Angella almost surrendering to Lord Hordak to get her back. No doubt Glimmer and Bow would not be pleased to hear that Adora wonders about Catra’s fate so intensely.

Still… Adora can’t help but consider that after the battle of Bright Moon Catra has returned to the Fright Zone with the Horde’s worst defeat ever in her hands and now she is seemingly spirited away. So what? Adora lists the possible alternatives and it’s not like there’s much that occurs to her mind. Either in these last missions Catra was not assigned to the front line – but it sounds weird cause she punctually had till the battle of Bright Moon – or she was sent to other battle fields – equally improbable cause there aren’t reports of any other active operations from the Horde. Another possibility is that Catra has finally defected too… but for some reason Adora can’t quite believe it. She’s tried hard to convince her to leave the Fright Zone, but fruitlessly; rather it seems like the more Adora insisted, the more Catra stuck with the Horde.

The last option is that Catra has borne the brunt of the failed attack to Bright Moon.

Removing an incompetent captain is common routine in an army and the Horde doesn’t make exception. But they don’t exactly have some retirement program for dismissed soldiers. Or well… yes they do, but one which entails permanent rest six feet under, that is.

Adora shuts her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose at such thought; she tries her best to push it away. Catra is still the best cadet the Horde has ever had, aside from Adora herself of course. It would be foolish giving up such a skilled member of the army and if anything, Lord Hordak isn’t a fool. Adora strongly clings to this consideration, like she has in the past days. Because her heart really can’t contemplate the alternative. Only picturing it makes her ache too much.

This all shouldn’t have happened… Adora has offered Catra salvation, offered her to join the Rebellion countless times; she’s tried to bring her friend back to her. But that cat-like girl has been so stubborn and wouldn’t listen to any of the words Adora spoke. “I miss you too.” … “I’m sorry for leaving.”… “I never wanted to leave you.” … Adora meant these things from the bottom of her heart, but for some reason they wouldn’t be enough for Catra.

She wouldn’t care for the wrong that the Horde was doing and wouldn’t understand why the outcry in Adora’s conscience was preventing her from going back to the Fright Zone, why it was impossible for Adora not to leave. Catra wouldn’t fathom that it wasn’t getting magic powers, a giant sword and a red cape – not to mention that stunning golden mane - that Adora was after. Neither it was becoming an heroine everyone would look at in awe. Sure all those things were crazy cool and Adora couldn’t deny that she liked being so strong and admired, but that wasn’t really the point. Catra wouldn’t see that there was more, so much more in all this story to Adora… but she herself is still so confused about it. Glimpses of visions, fragments of memories or familiar places, echoes of voices calling her… this nebulous stuff stuck in her head is all Adora has. So how on Etheria could she ever make Catra understand what she herself isn’t still grasping?

Despite her best intentions Adora has only pushed Catra further away from herself. And Catra has fully showed her loathing for the one she once considered her best friend: the scars on the blonde’s back still shine bright red against the pale skin that She-Ra’s extensively long hair mercifully cover. But when she’s just Adora, when she’s alone and all her defenses are down, when she rolls restlessly in a too roomy and too cold bed in the dead of the night, then those cuts start burning again. Blazing like a stab in her back, sending pangs of betrayal painted with Catra’s red anger and contempt. Those claws cut much deeper than the skin and the scars in Adora’s soul still bleed and won’t heal anytime soon. The moment her skin was rent open from razor sharpened claws, Adora believed that all of her relationship with Catra was severed as well.

Then why can’t Adora help but thinking of Catra’s fate? She never had to worry about such thing before. When they grew up in the Fright Zone they were sticking together all the time, telling each other everything, always in sight to each other. When Adora defected events tore them apart and she missed Catra so much, but she knew for sure they would eventually meet on the battle field. But now? Not knowing is tearing her from inside and she just ends up picturing the worst scenarios.

She tells herself she shouldn’t care… she should be relieved in fact… but who the heck does she think she’s fooling?!

Catra has been so much to her for so long in her life… Adora can’t just taking her away from her heart, although she’s caused so much pain and hurt. Adora can’t forgive her, but neither can she hate her. And she wonders… can Catra do that? Has she really turned her affection into hatred? When they were stuck in that First Ones’ base Catra left her hanging for dear life without turning back - without even looking back - telling the tale of their story in terms of rivalry instead of amity. Revealing what Adora wished she had known before, about how Catra felt lesser than her all throughout her life… how she yearned for proving herself better than everyone – especially Sahdow Weaver - believed… telling what a struggle it was to Catra trying to step out of Adora’s heavy although cozy shadow…

Back in their days at the Fright Zone, hadn’t she known Catra well enough to see through her pretended nonchalance and glimpse that there was a turmoil inside of her? Shouldn’t a good friend have delved into such glimpses for the sake of the one she professed she cared for the most? Is there truth in the things Catra said? Why would exactly Adora feel the need to run and supply unrequested salvation every time Catra was in trouble? Is it true that by being protective she had kept her friend blocked and needy? Is it true that Adora’s attempt to protect Catra were always lamed from that she wasn’t willing to actually disgruntle Shadow Weaver? Is Catra actually stronger without Adora?

Adora sighs loudly while her eyes fall close again under the weight of a guilt that’s traitorously sneaking into her, like it has since that day in the First Ones’ base. Those questions haven’t a clear answer, but only a mess of confused justifications that invariably end with an regretful although sincere _‘I never meant to hurt you!’_

She and Catra were meant to look out for each other, not using each other for trading protection and confidence… not competing for gaining praise from the higher ranks of the Horde, not racing to determine who was worthier becoming Force Captain… they were best friends weren’t they? But who’s the one who first stopped looking out for the other? Little girls are holding hands and their voices echo in Adora’s mind. “Nothing bad can happen if we have each other.” “You promise?” her lips move on their own accord, as words slip out of her throat in a smothered whisper. “I… _promised_ …”

She sobs in despondence as guilt gets the best of her and a bitter tear rolls down her cheek. Who was the one who first broke this promise?

“Where are you Catra?” She whispers to the starless sky while going back to her room, heading to a bed that’s too roomy and too cold. She knows sleep will elude her also tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter is basically just an introduction. more things coming in the next one.  
> If you enjoy my story please leave me comments, they make wonders for me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello guys, thanks to everyone who left comments or kudos! In this chapter and the next one i set some needed premises for the story, but i promise more stuff going on after those. i hope you enjoy.

“A diplomatic reconnaissance? And what should that be?” Adora asked blinking unaware.

“Well basically the same thing we’ve been doing this far.” Glimmer replies all excited. “We travel to another kingdom and talk the local Princess into joining the Rebellion.”

“Oh.” Adora nods wondering why Glimmer didn’t say it that simple right away.

“The other times it was us asking the other kingdoms to join us.” Glimmer adds. “But after the Battle of Bright Moon the Rebellion has gained a lot of popularity and many princesses are considering an alliance with us. The idea of having She-Ra by their side is making many of them change their minds.”

Adora smiles at her friend. She feels like she’s made the difference for something that’s really just. She finally feels like there’s a bigger and more important purpose to her, than just being the good soldier Shadow Weaver wanted her to be. And Glimmer also seems to have found her dimension in all of this, finally earning respect from her mother. Queen Angella now sees her as a Rebellion Commander and not only her clumsy teenage daughter with too high ambitions of heroism and too little experience and judgment. Glimmer truly has proved her worth and courage.

“My mother is keeping correspondence with some kingdoms and planning to arrange an expedition to ratify an alliance with the Rebellion. From what I overheard there are at least three princesses who have requested for us to meet them. The more regions join us, the more people will be positive that we can definitively defeat the Horde. The more princesses, the more magic power at the service of the Rebellion!” Glimmer almost chirps in elation. “Thanks to She-Ra the tide is turning and people want to fight, instead of just lie low, each kingdom protecting their quarters.”

Glimmer takes Adora’s hands in hers and shakes them gently. Her eyes – all of her head actually - sparkle full of gratitude, even if Adora doesn’t feel like she deserves it all. It often seems like the aura of myth surrounding She-Ra is mostly the reason why kingdoms would consider joining the Rebellion, more than the acts Adora has actually performed in the guise of the Princess of Power. In fact, as Adora learns more and more from the Queen of the epic deeds in the ancient tales about She-Ra, a crack seems to stretch out between the mighty heroine who She-Ra is supposed to be and the uncertain and inexperienced - albeit good intentioned – wannabe Protector of Etheria she is when she wields her magical sword. Adora can’t help but recall that Light Hope admonished her about the need for her to train properly, otherwise she would put her friends in danger. There just isn’t time now for She-Ra to take an educational term away. The Horde must be stricken as long as the Rebellion has the upper hand.

“Do you realize what this means?!” Bow chimes in popping up even more ecstatic than Glimmer, bringing back Adora from her train of thoughts. “We are going to that diplomatic trip!!” He squeals wrapping both the girls in a squeezing hug. “Best-friends squad will travel around the world!!”

“Oh…” Adora suddenly feels like she’s having a de-ja vu and freezes for a moment, while a memory relives in her head.

When Shadow Weaver promoted her to Force Captain Catra was all thrilled by the idea of following her in missions and seeing the world. She started purring and planned to make something explode, as if it was all a kids game. How naïve the both of them were back then. None of them lingering over what war and battles truly meant. Catra was like that, impulsive and always after something exciting. Delaying to another day – that punctually never came - the pondering over her actions. She simply nosedived into adventures and wanted to partake them all with Adora.

A massive wave of nostalgia suddenly hits Adora, thinking of the times when she and Catra were thick and thieves. When they’d do anything together, share everything and never leave the other’s side. And now she doesn’t even know if Catra is still alive… She feels like she’s never missed Catra as hard as these days.

“Etheria calls Adora! Etheria calls Adora!” Bow is waving his hand before the blonde’s eyes.

“Uh, I’m… I’m sorry I just got distracted.” Adora mumbles.

“Yeah we noticed.” Glimmer replies concerned. “It seemed like you were on another planet. Aren’t you happy about the trip?”

“Yes, of course…” Adora hurries to reassure them, but inside she’s biting her tongue. She doesn’t want to lie to them, but neither wants them to suspect something’s going on with her. “It’s going to be great!” She forces out a smile, mustering all the enthusiasm she can to validate her act.

“Adora are you sure you’re okay?” Glimmer inquires with worry in her gaze. She’s harder to deceive than Bow and Adora knows that.

“Yes, yes.” She confirms more steadily this time. “I just wonder whether there could be dangers lurking ahead. The Horde is still active and might set up traps and ambushes for the delegation.”

“You shouldn’t worry like that. The Horde has grown much weaker since the battle of Bright Moon and my mother is surely taking overly abundant precautions for this mission.” Glimmer reassures her, soon supported by a broad-smiled Bow.

“And the best-friends squad will be there to ensure that everything goes smooth!”

Adora smiles back at them both, although a hint of her wistfulness is still detectable in her light blue eyes. It is refreshing seeing their genuine enthusiasm – she thinks to herself - and the solid conviction that if they fight hard enough, things will wind up fine. There is so much faith and tender naivety in such attitude, one that Adora herself owned, but hers seems to have grown dull. She has tried so hard to mend things with Catra and yet everything has gone to waste…

“Yes.” Adora utters more gravely than she intends. “We will make sure that everything goes fine.”

 

+++

 

The weekly meeting with the Generals helps Adora well, providing some distraction from her thoughts. The weird thing is that she has lived all her life preparing for battles, then she’s been thrown into a roller coaster of adventures by becoming She-Ra, but now that the Horde has considerably relented its grip and times are the most peaceful in decades, she kind of feels like she’s missing the action. All those dramatic events she’s lived have caused her distress and inner conflicts, but they also gave her rushes of adrenaline and emotions that made her feel alive as anything before.

Passing from that to idling in a castle full of comforts, well fed, neatly clothed and with basically nothing to do if not occasionally rush to strike a random squadron popping out of the Whispering Woods, is taking a toll on Adora. And just like her other concerns, she is reluctant to expose such ponderings to her friends, cause it very much seems like she is missing the war, but that isn’t definitely the case.

 _Catra would understand me._ The idea crosses Adora’s mind casually like a shooting star in the black night. _She was always hyperkinetic, maybe because of that touch of wild in her nature. Or maybe that’s just a trait exquisitely of hers, like it is of mine..._ She shuts the train of thoughts before it starts derailing toward the track of regret, and briskly wipes the whole thing away.

During the meeting Queen Angella exposes what Glimmer anticipated, about the negotiations with three different kingdoms interested in joining the Rebellion. The trip will require some weeks to visit the Star Sisters in the Azure Desert, princess Peekablue and princess Metalla of the Rusty Valleys. There is sharing of ideas about the safest routes to follow, security protocol and other logistic details; making plans has always been something Adora liked and actually a strong suit of hers. It works fine occupying her mind in a task where she can concretely help.

There are still matters to decide before the departure can be arranged, but the Queen announces that she is certainly going to leave with the delegation. Glimmer’s eyes grow wide and she is deflated at such news; it takes more than a couple of nudges on her ribcage from Bow before she regains composure. The young princess was no doubt figuring an adventure out with her friends and off of the formality and restraint of her magniloquent mother, but she’ll have to scale down her plans.

Noticing the bustle in her daughter’s direction, Angella throws a stern glance at her, before adding that the other members of the delegation will be nominated in the next days, as much as the person who will hold the regency of Bright Moon during the trip. Again the Queen’s gaze lingers for a second more than usual on Adora and her friends, her expression is unreadable, but the blonde immediately gets the feeling that there’s something the Queen is keeping to herself.

After the meeting is broken up the Angella moves close by Adora with that usual graceful gait that makes her look like she’s gliding on the air more than walking.

“Adora can I have a word in private with you?”

“Of course.” She hurries to reply, knowing that the Queen requesting something is merely a formal act of courtesy, since she can’t possibly be answered ‘no’. Adora also hurries to shoot a meaningful glance to her friends, silently promising that she’ll update them later about the content of the _private word_.

The Queen leads the way to a room Adora has never seen before. It’s neither a big setting compared to the halls or big meeting rooms she’s seen in the castle, nor a small one. They walk through an antechamber where several shelves full of books, ancient scrolls and pictures on the wall make the space look more cramped than it actually is. Then they reach the studio where a huge white desk lies crowded with parchments, inkwell and quills; a big marbled fireplace faces it on the other side of the room. A tall pointed window enlightens the setting with the colors of the stained-glass portraying knights of Bright Moon marching out of the city. Candle handlers, crystals and other objects Adora can’t quite tell float around the room.

“This is my studio. I take care of paperwork here. But it’s also a private space for retiring and thinking in peace.” Angella clarifies and Adora glimpses a picture on the wall behind the big desk, in which King Micah stands in his glory. It’s not that different from the picture in the hall she once found a musing Queen staring at.

“Glimmer has told me that you are pensive lately.” Angella sinks in the big golden chair behind the desk and invites Adora to sit as well, bringing her back from her looking around. “She’s also told me that you are cagey every time she asks you what’s the matter.”

Adora swallows back the excuses she had already summoned in her mind, the same ones she usually fobs Glimmer off with and which evidently her friend didn’t buy. There’s no way she can get away from the inquisitive gaze of the Queen now. Despite Adora feels way more at ease with her nowadays than when she first arrived in Bright Moon, Angella is still somehow intimidating. Maybe it’s because she’s the Queen, maybe it’s because she’s an immortal angel, maybe cause Adora has spent most of her life serving those who caused so much suffering to her and her folks. Before the blonde can come up with something to say, Angella talks again.

“Micah was like you. Restless when the war was waning and time for recover and collecting thoughts came.” She smiles, but it doesn’t really reach her eyes, where the sadness for the loss of him lingers. “He used to tell to little Glimmer the stories of the battles and adventures he’d lived. She dreamed of becoming a fighter by his side and then they would play war in the hall… She liked so much when her father came home...” Angella trails off, overwhelmed by her memories.

“I’m so sorry for what happened to him…” Adora murmurs while uncomfortably shifting on the chair.

“What I mean is that it’s normal for some people to long for action.” Angella stands up and turns around the desk to reach her with a quiet smile that now looks more convincing. “You have been through a lot recently and you didn’t really had time to let it all sink in. It’s understandable that you feel confused and pensive. Some people find solace from troubled thoughts in meditating and silence, others in hustling and action. I believe you belong to the second category.”

Adora lowers her head and gazes at the marbled floor as if it is now particularly interesting. It’s true that there’s so much going on inside of her, so many radical changes that still bewilder and scare her. Maybe more than she can tell and it all adds up with lack of action. And her concern about Catra.

The Queen’s hands land on both her shoulders and Adora looks up at her. Her smile is now warm and soothing, truly the smile of an angel. “Don’t feel like you have to keep your uneasiness from your friends. They will support you. And you can come to me too, whenever you feel the need to talk.”

“Thank you, your Majesty.” Adora smiles back feeling solace for the first time in weeks. She feels warmth radiating from Agella’s hands and wonders if it’s her magic power or simply her empathy making her feel better. Angella pulls her in for a quick and a bit awkward hug; none of them is really used to this kind of gestures, but it feels good anyway. Such a difference between this approach and the way Shadow Weaver used to deal with her, with her constant coaxing and conditioning her, creeping in with her manipulation concealed under a caring guise. But she never really related with Adora and never really cared for what she wanted or was best for her.

The Queen regains some of her composure and her talk is warier now. “I have a favor to ask you Adora.” The blonde immediately senses that it has to do with what she seemed to be holding back something at the Generals meeting.

“I’ll be glad to help in any way I can.” Adora dutifully assures.

Angella sighs before starting. “It’s about Glimmer… Like I said before, the princesses we are going to meet have expressly requested me to attend the visit of their kingdoms. They also asked to meet She-Ra in fact, but I think that it can be worked around.”

“Why? Doesn’t your Majesty want She-Ra to go?“

“Yes I do.” Angella interrupts her quickly. “But there are other things…” She sighs again, more loudly this time. “I want Glimmer to hold the regency of Bright Moon when I’ll be away. And I want you by her side then. I’d feel much more at ease knowing that Glimmer can count on the protector of Etheria.”

“Oh…” Adora stutters. “Of-of course I’ll be at Glimmer avail. But-“

“I know, I know… Glimmer will go nuts when she’ll know that she isn’t taking part to the trip… Even more when she’ll know that Bow will attend it instead.”

“Aw…” Adora starts picturing a really bad scene between mother and daughter.

“Yes, indeed…” Angella crosses her arms with a worried frown. “I know my daughter. I know I was wrong trying to mold her into someone like me. She’s different and more like her father. Passionate and impulsive. Still, one day Glimmer will be Queen and she has to learn that sometimes - more often than not in fact - a leader must put aside her own desires to serve a greater purpose.”

“I understand what you mean.” Adora nods seriously. She herself has heard this lesson recently, wearing the shoes of She-Ra. Light Hope told her that she is distracted by attachments. Somehow it seems like it’s not much different than the message the Queen wants to impart to Glimmer now.

“I was sure you would. You’re more judicious than her. Of that I’m glad. Glimmer needs someone to curb her enthusiasm at times.” Angella throws her hands in the air in a gesture of mild exasperation. “Bow surely isn’t of any help with that!” She adds and Adora can’t help but let out a small chuckle.

“Anyway that’s where you fit in.” The Queen resumes, while pacing in circle. “You see, holding the regency of the kingdom is a great responsibility, but even greater honor. Entrusting Glimmer to that means a great deal to me and I hope she will understand it.” She sighs again, skeptical that her hope will be fulfilled. “So the favor I’m asking you is to help her see this thing in the right perspective. That I’m not somehow grounding her by leaving her at home, rather I’m proving her my utmost trust.”

“It’s clear your Majesty. And I’ll certainly do all I can to… smooth things down with Glimmer. I’ll be close to her.”

“Thank you Adora. You’re a good friend to her, she’ll listen to you more than to me about this.”

“I believe she’ll be disappointed anyway… and angry. She’s so very excited about this trip… and parting from Bow…”

“Bow and Glimmer are among the best warriors of the Rebellion. I need her to stay here and watch over Bright Moon with you, but I can’t do without him too. Being apart from her friend is also part of the burden that comes with responsibility that Glimmer has to learn. As regards her fits of anger, I’ll deal with those should they occur. I’m used to those… regrettably.” One more sigh escapes Angella’s lips.

“Have trust in Glimmer, your Majesty. She won’t take it too well I’m afraid, but she’ll come around and accept it eventually.”

Angella smiles at Adora warmly now, truly grateful she’s found understanding in her daughter’s best friend. “Needless to say that this conversation and its content are strictly confidential. Glimmer shall not know anything of this until I speak to her.”

“Of course.” Adora nods thinking that on one hand she’s not pleased to keep such news from her friend, but she also does not envy the Queen who will have a face a such a difficult conversation.

“Good. If nothing else comes up, I’ll talk to Glimmer tomorrow.”

 

+++

 

But something else comes up and a new attack of the Horde takes place outside the walls of Bright Moon. Adora is looking forward to some action and sprints to grab her sword left in her room to dust since a few weeks. She-Ra is on the battle field in no time.

Like in the other battles her instinct is to look for the familiar face she’s been seeing in her wonderings and dreams, but like the other times there’s no trace of Catra. She-Ra recklessly slashes tanks, overturns robots and storms troops, but her search is fruitless.

Which thing only makes her more infuriated and frustrated. Her brain goes spinning around the things she’s been thinking of in the past days. Missing Catra and the guilt creeping in, Adora’s still cloudy fate as She-Ra, the diplomatic trip and the possible dangers of it, plus the consequences of the regency matter for Glimmer… all of this seems too much all together and only leads She-Ra to strike even more amok.

When she spots Scorpia driving a tank nearby her position, Adora acts on pure instinct and jumps toward her totally unconcerned of the risks. She swings her sword and rips the tank open, then engages a combat with the bulky princess. There isn’t really contest between the two of them, but Adora’s purpose isn’t to knock Scorpia down. The clawed princess is using a laser spear and actually manages to get close enough to her to hit home, but Adora is faster dodging the blows. The Force Captain badge shines on Scorpia’s chest and reminds Adora of a time when she herself was proud of wearing that stupid piece of metal.

“The Horde left only you doing all the dirty work, huh?” She-Ra screams to her opponent, trying to sound defiant and hide her true purpose.

Scorpia doesn’t answer and is only busy parrying the slashes raining down on her. Adora cuts her some slack to see if she will say something useful, but Scorpia instead exploits the break to run away toward the Whispering Woods. She-Ra jumps over her and blocks her way, prompting her again to talk.

“Where’s your fellow Force Captain?! Has she grown slack of battles this fast?”

Scorpia scowls at her and her face goes red. She suddenly spins raising her stinger ready to pierce, while growling : “There’s no other Force Captain!”

Adora backs enough to see the stinger passing inches away from her chest, while her mind is striving to process what she just heard. “What…?”

“If you mean your former friend, she’s as good as gone!” Scorpia barks rabid.

Adora freezes in place, so stunned that she almost loses the grip on the hilt of her sword. Her arms dangling sloppily down her sides. Time seems to stop as she stares at Scorpia for what looks like an eternity, the battle raging in slow motion around them and the clamor of it muffled in Adora’s ears. The bulky princess seizes the chance and zaps She-Ra full power on her chest. The blonde doesn’t even try to shield herself with her arms and the blow collides against her torso in a flash of blinding green. She’s thrown several meters behind and crumbles on the ground. Scorpia runs toward her, not wanting to miss such a precious chance to land another fatal strike on her again.

She-Ra strains to prop up on her elbows and knees. “What happened to Catra?” She manages to croak loud enough to be heard in the uproar of the battle, but too loud to conceal the tremble in her voice. Or the distress in her eyes.

The spear is pointing toward her, but Adora doesn’t care. Her head is spinning and ears are ringing; she isn’t sure if she can take another full power blow, but Scorpia seems to be about to say more and Adora needs to know. She’ll think of her wounds afterwards. She blinks her eyes for a split second and Glimmer is suddenly beside her. The second after the twinkle of her power is crackling and She-Ra is been teleported away from Scorpia.

“Nooo!! Glimmer bring me back there!!”

“Are you crazy Adora?! She was going to strike you.”

“I need to… Scorpia… She was…” She-Ra falters, struggling to stand up and run after her opponent, but in the distance she sees Scorpia and the rest of the contingent retreating back into the Whispering Woods where they came from. It is matter of moments before they are all out of sight, lost among the frozen trees, and so are the chances to know more about what’s going on with Catra.

“We won the battle.” Glimmer declares. “It doesn’t matter. Let them go, it’s over now.”

She-Ra crumbles on her knees transforming back to Adora. She starts feeling a tightening grip on her chest and it’s suddenly hard to breathe. Maybe it is that laser blow, maybe it’s what Scorpia said, but she can’t quite take air in. She leans on the sword planted on the ground for support, while gasping in breathless wheezes. She can hear Glimmer calling her name, but it sounds like she’s miles away instead of just behind her. She can feel her friend’s hands under her arms, holding her up while all her body slowly collapses and her sight starts to go black. She rolls on the ground face down, body numb, heard and sight completely obscured but still conscious. She’s drifting away, but her mind is filled with one desperate lament.

_Catra!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor adora is left a bit wrecked!  
> let me know your comments about the story, they really make my day. criticism is welcomed (as long as it's nicely put) and i really long to know readers' opinions.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the battle Adora ponders over what happened and her concerns. In the meantime Glimmer is informed from her mother of her imminent task and reacts to that.

Her eyes open and she realizes she was unconscious. How long has she been so? And why was she unconscious? She can’t remember, she feels dazed.

“Adora?”

Glimmer’s voice is latched with worry. The blonde slowly turns her face and meets the young princess’ preoccupied gaze. She’s sitting at her bedside.

“Adora how do you feel?”

She has no idea how to answer this question, everything feels so muffled.

“I don’t know.” She simply croaks realizing her throat is parched. “What happened?”

“You were fighting with Scorpia. She poisoned you with her darn venom!” Glimmer heats up, while briefly relaying facts and Adora finally recalls.

“The battle… Scorpia… she said… _as good as gone_ …” Adora trails off while the memory of the exchange with the Horde princess flows into her mind. Her mind finally focusing better and shaking off the torpor of the sleep.

“As good as gone what?” Glimmer asks. Adora quickly decides that she doesn’t want to share what she’s learned on the battle field right now.

“Huh? Oh, no nothing.” She dismisses nonchalantly. “Can I have some water? I’m dying from thirst.”

Glimmer obliges and while sipping water, Adora focuses better on the present; she’s in her room and it’s broad daylight but she has no idea what time is it.

“How long have I been unconscious?”

“Almost 24 hours. We were really starting to worry that the poison would affect you worse than we thought.”

“Poison…? But she didn’t catch me.” Adora remembers well seeing the stinger passing close by her, but leaving her unscathed.

“Sure she did.” Glimmer replies without hint of doubt. “I saw her in the distance tossing her huge tail against you and after that you were gawping at her and taking her blows all befuddled. And after I took you away from her you collapsed… Oh Adora I was so worried about you.” The young princess sprints forward to hug Adora who’s still thoughtful.

It wasn’t the poison to make her dazed against Scorpia and to choke her after she was teleported. Adora is totally sure of it. Hearing what seems to corroborate her worst fears about Catra’s fate is what battered her down. She now realizes that what she went through was a full blown panic attack. Now that she’s more lucid she understands that what Scorpia said doesn’t confirm anything. But neither it proves wrong her concerns and it also indicates that things aren’t going well for Catra – admitting that Scorpia actually said the truth. If only Adora had had the chance to hear more from the clawed princess…

“ADORA!!” The door slams open and Bow leaps on her bed, joining the hug and squeezing the two girls in a tight sandwich. “I’m so relieved that you woke up! Glimmer and I were so worried!”

“Bow loosen up!” Glimmer protests. “She’s still convalescent.”

“I’m happy to see you too, Bow.” Adora exhales breathless, smiling merrily at him.

“I swear that we’re going to make that Horde scum pay!” He proclaims with emphasis, relenting the grip a bit. “I’m already projecting some special arrow that tracks arachnid organisms!”

“I’m sure Adora feels much safer now, Bow!” Glimmer replies, rolling her eyes at the quirky idea the boy came up with and Adora tries her best to hide her sniggering. Bow and Glimmer start a banter about the utility of his inventor efforts and Adora is glad that the attention is drawn away from the dynamic of her predicament.

“Bow, how did you even know I was awake?” The blonde wonders aloud to stop the bickering.

A pitter patter of hooves follows and Swift Wind peeks out of the door, whinnying to introduce himself. “I could sense that you were awake.” He waves his ginger mane and twirls his horn in a self-confident motion.

“Swift Wind!” Adora exclaims with a smile. Seeing a horse – pardon, a unicorn! – nonchalantly wandering around the chambers and the aisles of a castle always makes her laugh. “I was rather sure that Queen Angella had given disposition that you would not walk through the halls!”

“Queen Angella should reconsider her dispositions!” Swift wind snorts in outrage. “Discriminating horses in the name of the well-being of her precious carpets and floors is totally inadmissible!”

They all burst out laughing and exchange some more jokes. Adora feels her spirit going lighter when she’s with them. They are all there for her, being attentive and affectionate. A part of her can’t help but feeling guilty keeping things from them, but she can’t really help herself. She makes a mental pledge to tell them about what’s going on in her head soon, but just not now.

That same night she finds herself out in the balcony again, thinking of Catra and her whereabouts. She has good friends taking care of her; Catra has no one. She might be in trouble and no one’s looking out for her. Adora sobs quietly under the black vault above her, wondering whether Catra is looking up at the same starless sky now.

Ignoring that this is the last night she wonders about her because the wheels of fate are already turning.

 

+++

 

The next day Adora feels fine enough, but Glimmer ordered her to take it easy so she is still lingering in her room when Queen Angella pays her a visit. She checks on the blonde and informs her that unfortunately she can’t delay the talk to Glimmer about the diplomatic trip any longer. Angella reassures her that she doesn’t expect Adora to do anything in particular – and especially given her recent ailment – but to be a friend close to her daughter, possibly bearing in mind what’s best for Bright Moon.

Adora renews her will to talk sense into Glimmer and support the Queen’s decision. Just like Adora can see that it’s a wise plan, so will Glimmer... at least she will in time.

Later on the rumors about the furious confrontation between the Queen and the young princess reach Adora’s room and it sounds worse than what the blonde expected. Bow comes over to warn her that Glimmer is now – predictably - grounded in her room and that he’s going to sneak in to check on her; Adora joins him right away.

When they manage to get in they find the young princess sitting on her floating bed, fuming and gritting teeth; she’s holding an owl shaped pillow so strongly that it might fall apart. As soon as they climb up on the bed, Glimmer starts ranting about her mother who’s choking her and being over protective. That the consideration she thought she had achieved in her mother’s eyes was just imaginary and that clearly Angella believes her to be an helpless baby. She’s disappointed beyond measure and the fact that Bow - unlike her - was chosen to take part to the trip is the cherry on top that makes it all even worse. Adora can’t say if it’s because Glimmer feels like she’s lost some sort of competition with the boy, or because she’ll miss him. Or maybe both.

The two friends let Glimmer vent as long as she needs before daring to speak to her. Bow sympathizes with her and points out that the trip without the two girls won’t be the same thing and most decidedly less exciting. He adds that he asked the Queen to stay behind if his friends weren’t allowed to come, but was denied. Bow also reminds Glimmer that Angella cares for her well-being above all and that after all she must obey her mother cause she’s… well no less than the Queen. Glimmer sure needs to be reminded of what’s her place, but it doesn’t really help to soothe her upset. Rather it makes her feel all the more trapped into a cradle. Adora then tentatively argues that Angella has allowed Glimmer to go to far more dangerous missions before, hence protection can’t be the reason. She tries to point out the positivity of such a unprecedented kind of task which is holding the regency.

“But I don’t care for being here playing the Queen and attend to the kingdom stuff!”

“But-“ Adora hesitates a bit. “Someday you will be Queen… you must take it into your hands at some point.”

“Yeah?! Who knows?! I mean… My mother is immortal! She might very well be Queen for another two or three centuries!”

“Oh!” Adora taps a finger her lower lip not having ever thought of this aspect of the matter. “But I guess that if she asked you to do this now, it’s because she wants you to experience about this.”

“Now you sound like her!” Glimmer blurts losing patience.

“She’s handing Bright Moon into your hands… you shouldn’t see it as a slight from her. I guess it should be considered an honor.” Adora tries cautiously.

“But I don’t want her to do so! She knows that such kind of stuff is really not my thing! She could pick whatever council member or minister for that. They are more fitting and no doubt way more longing for this than I ever will!”

“But Glimmer… _You_ are the princess.” Adora counters. “It is _your_ responsibility. _Your_ kingdom.”

“I know, I know… Really, I know I sound like a spoiled brat princess right now, but…” Glimmer takes air in and pauses a little bit. She has noticed how Adora and Bow exchanged the briefest glance at the mention of the _‘spoiled brat princess’_ , which confirms her that that’s how they are seeing her at that moment.

“Listen, learning the Queen stuff…? Fine. But right now?! Why?! There is no urgency for that!” She resumes with renewed emphasis. “She knows how much I care for visiting the kingdoms… It was _my_ idea contacting the other princesses and reviving the old alliance! _We_ did it!! And now that it turns out to be successful she takes it away from me… and takes Bow away too…” Glimmer’s shoulders sags and she sniffles defeated.

“She acknowledges your credit in reviving the alliance. You know she does.” Adora offers, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“She should prove it then.” Glimmer argues with frustration. “I thought you’d be by my side Adora.”

“And I am!” Adora sincerely proclaims, feeling that the path she’s walking might become slippery at any step.

“I really can’t get it.” Glimmer insists crossing her arms and furrowing her brows. “She’s ordering you too to stay behind. Doesn’t that bother you at all?”

Adora stops to think of it for a second, before candidly admitting: “No… I mean… It’s the Queen’s orders.” She was raised and trained to be a soldier and soldiers are meant to obey and that’s that. As long as she trusts the leader she doesn’t see the point of disagreeing with a sensible order.

“What your mother’s asking you isn’t irrational or unjust. And she is entrusting you with the kingdom. This is the evidence that she doesn’t deem you a helpless baby, rather a princess mature enough to deal with such a complex task.”

“You keep sounding like her!” Glimmer protests unnerved and heated up. “If that is so, how comes she leaves She-Ra here to babysit me?!”

It hits Adora, who feels somehow accused. “I don’t babysit anyone!” She bites back crossly. “And if you think that that’s what She-Ra does or what your mother expects her to do, you’re largely mistaken!”

“Girls, girls please!” Bow finally barges after having been mute for a long time. “Stop fighting. We’re all friends here!”

Glimmer huffs and crosses her arms. Adora purses her lips sideways in disappointment. Her mood is wasted and this isn’t at all how she wanted the talk to go. They keep it quiet for a while, but the tension keeps hovering over them.

“Glimmer you shouldn’t see this responsibility as a bad thing.” Adora finally speaks again. “I know that it’s not easy on you missing the trip. And I know that the idea of facing the _Queen stuff_ isn’t appealing. Believe me I know what it is being charged with responsibility you don’t feel ready for! Like it’s not easy to give up on things you care for, in the name of a greater good.” Suddenly Catra’s smirking face appears in her mind, but she quickly dismisses it.

“You know your mom loves you.” She resumes. “But she also has a duty toward the kingdom. Her decisions might not always be easy to accept, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are wrong. Just try to give it a thought and try to see things from her point of view.”

With that said, Adora walks out of the room, leaving a still frowning Glimmer and a mixed up Bow behind.

 

+++

 

She’s resting in her bed with closed eyes, her head pulses painfully on her temples. The argument with Glimmer heated her up and she’s been working out her nervousness in the training yard. She was told to take it easy after the last battle, but she’s disregarded the advice and now she’s paying the price.

A soft knock on her door and she’s already up and alert. But standing that fast makes her head pulse harder and she shuts her eyes, speaking before even wondering who it might be. “Come in.”

Glimmer materializes in her room – she hardly ever uses the door – with a bag full of donuts in her hands.

“I-I know you like these very much and I didn’t see you at dinner so…” She trails off clearly embarrassed and her eyes run everywhere but to meet Adora’s. “I’m sorry about the way I behaved before.” She finally admits, still averting her friend’s gaze.

“It’s ok.” Adora replies. “I understand it’s hard on you.” Despite the professed comprehension, her voice sounds harsher than she means, mainly because of her headache.

“But I shouldn’t have gone off on you. I’m really sorry I was so stupid…”

“Hey, it’s ok, really.” Adora says softening her voice. She steps closer and puts a hand on Glimmer’s upper arm. “You were mad and I got in the way. It happens.” She smiles a bit and the young princess finally meets her gaze, clearly abashed.

“Adora you know I really care for you.” She proclaims with sparks flickering all around her head. “You’re one of the few friends I have and I feel so idiot for jeopardizing it for my stupid bad mood.”

“Hey sweetie, calm down. It’s all right I promise.” Adora hugs her gently. “I care for you too, Glimmer. What happened is nothing.”

“Aren’t you mad at me?” The young princess slowly pulls away to stare straight into Adora’s eyes; the small sniffle she emits after speaking and the gleaming in her look betray pent up tears.

“Could I be, when you brought these for me?” The blonde smiles and blinks at Glimmer, slipping a hand into the donuts bag and taking one. She gives a big bite and realizes only at that moment how hungry she is. The fragrant scent of pastry is only second to the delicious taste of the soft dough melting in her mouth. “Aren’t you going to be in trouble with your mom for breaking off the grounding and stealing these?”

Glimmer smiles for the first time and takes one for herself; she sinks her teeth into the donut before speaking. Crumbs and powdered sugar spill over and words come out garbled because of her full mouth. “It was _wortchit_. I knew – _chomp_ \- I would bribe you with _tchese_!”

“I’ll have to watch out for you, you wannabe Queen!” Adora chuckles. “Escape from imprisonment, robbery of pastries, bribing and even bad table manners! You aren’t anything like the example of moral virtue and rectitude your mother wants you to be!”

Glimmer laughs loud; all the tension is gone and she is happy that the argument was tossed behind. They sit down on the floor, chat, laugh and eat till all the donuts are gone and the light of dusk is replaced from the silvery beams of the multiple moons up in the night sky.

After they say goodnight Adora goes to bed hopeful for a good rest; she’s very tired and her usual distress seems dulled from the good time she’s just spent. The ache in her head relented, but never really stopped and it seems to be rising higher now that she’s alone, but it’s still not that bad. When she finally closes her eyes she falls asleep almost immediately. Her dreams are skittish and confused. Familiar faces and voices overlap on one another in a bemusing whirl of blurry images. It leaves her unsettled and with the feeling like she’s running and gasping for air, trying hard to catch up something that’s invariably eluding her.

A dull thud echoes and she jolts upright sitting on the bed, eyes wide open. Adora can’t quite tell whether the noise was in her dream or a real one. She turns toward the balcony where the sound seemed to come from and something catches her attention. She gets up and carefully moves to the window; sleepiness is promptly set aside thanks to her life-long training. There’s a shape in the darkness that Adora doesn’t recognize. She slides the windowpane as silently as she can and shivers in the cold night air. She steps softly toward what now appears to be a crouched body, outside in a dark corner of the balcony leaning behind a column. The blonde’s heart pounds harder; someone’s broken into her quarters and that can’t bode anything good. She ponders for a second if jumping back inside and grab her sword, but it seems too late. If who’s out there wants to attack her, turning her back to this person at this point would be an own goal. She finally gathers her strength, takes air in and jumps on the mysterious figure lying in the dark. She blindly tosses a hand ahead and grabs fabric, while her other fist is up and ready to strike. Her drive isn’t met with any resistance and once Adora manages to drag the body into the light, her breath is instantly caught.

A couple of different colored eyes are staring into hers and a battered Catra is parading her usual bold smirk to her.

“Hey Adora...” She manages to whisper before passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah guys Catra finally made her entrance and in the next chapter we'll see Adora facing her. Next one is going to be intense, i promise!  
> i know that i tend to write fics that start slowly (actually i've only written 2 including this one, so...) but hopefully readers will be so kind to stick with it anyway. i also have the tendency to write dialogues that end up in arguments even when i didn't intend characters to quarrel...  
> i have binge watched season 2 these days (how could i not?) and maybe i'll include part of what's in there in the prosecution of the story. let me know if you like the fic!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora finally faces Catra and the two of them have things to say to each other. things get... angsty and emotional!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is written in first person on Adora's POV. i'll shift to this mode occasionally (adding a note when i do). i believe it gives more intensity when narrating intimate thoughts. be prepared for an emotional roller coaster guys!

I can’t believe it’s happening. How? I have been worrying so much about Catra and then just like that she shows up here in my room… It looks so unreal that I’m afraid to close my eyes, lest she might be gone again and forever.

“ _As good as gone_ ” Scorpia had said… but now she’s here… with me! Not with her or any other member of the stupid Horde. With me… I keep stroking her arm the slightest I can, just to make sure she’s real. After all Shadow Weaver has messed with my mind like this in Mystacor… but this time it doesn’t seem something like that. No, it’s not a dream neither a trick. Catra is really here.

I took her to my bed, she’s still unconscious. I checked on her. She’s full of bruises and cuts, her clothes are ripped here and there and dried blood stains most of the frayed edges. She has a split lip and a deep cut on a cheekbone and another on her ear. Her mane is a mess of knots and ruffled tufts… Seems like she was stomped over from a drove of cows. She also looks skinnier than I remember her. But her breathing is even and her heartbeat too; nothing seems broken, neither she has fever. She’s most decidedly run down and mangy but not in danger. Only the stars know what’s happened to her.

I’m lying on my side next to her, my eyes glued to her and I’m still dazed about her sudden appearance. How long has it been since we last shared a bed? Seems like ages, but I know it’s not, yet so much distance has grown between us… I can feel her warmth beside me and it just feels right. Her scent is settling on my sheets and I realize only now that the lack of it was a missing piece of my sleeping routine. This darn bed finally seems to be working the way it should. I feel weird… tense and afraid. Relieved to see her essentially safe, but… what’s going to happen now? There’s so much to ask and so much I don’t know. Only Catra has the answers and who knows what she’s willing to share?

Will she be honest with me? Or hostile? Is she here to attack or what? Is she angry? Does she hate me…? Has she missed me the way I missed her? Even so, she’ll never admit it. Why did she come here? Because of me…? Is she going to battle me? Or surrender? Does she mean to stay or leave? Cause here in Bright Moon I can’t picture any easy way to have her accepted… neither a hard one actually. But even more I can’t picture her leaving me again… No it’s incorrect, the first time it was me leaving her … Will she do that to me too? I don’t know if I could take it… for the stars… my head is messed.

My hand flies on its own accord and caresses her face. Her headdress is the only piece of her garments that’s unscathed and I trace the line between its edge and Catra’s cheek; her skin is the softest. Always been… must be that feline touch in her. I’ve always loved to stroke her when we were kids, till I made of her a bundle of purrs under my hands… then I’d comb her mane all over and she’d fall asleep in my arms … we used to be so close.

Her features tense beneath my fingers and her nose wrinkles now. I take my hand away not wanting to wake her up. I just want this moment to last and savor it as long as I can. I can’t take my eyes away from her and I finally realize how I’m struggling not to hold her body against mine. I just long to hug her and keep her close… to feel her warm softness… not to ever let go of her again… I feel so confused. With the countless times we’ve slept side by side, I’ve never felt like this before. Her name escapes my lips in a yearning whisper that sounds like a prayer.

“Catra…”

Her ear twitches once, twice. She starts to move in her sleep and her breath becomes more erratic. She murmurs unintelligible things and jerks more now. I place my hand on her shoulder and shush her, but in vain. She gasps louder till her eyes finally break open wide.

“Leave me alone!!” She cries breathlessly sitting upright in a jolt.

“It’s all right Catra. You’re safe here.” I softly reassure her, while rubbing circles on her back, but she doesn’t give any sign that she’s heard me or even recorded my presence. She is looking ahead with glassy eyes, gasping and blinking. She keeps quiet for some moments, catching her breath.

“I can’t believe I fell asleep.” She huffs, her stare still glued to the wall ahead. Small beads of sweat are now gathered on her forehead.

“You passed out.” I say softly. “You look really worn out.”

Catra’s eye flicks to me; she finally turns her face to me, but torturously slow and I hold my breath. I feel my heartbeat picking a speeder race and my face flushes under her yellow-blue scrutinizing gaze. I can’t say why I feel like this. I’m so nervous and excited and afraid all at once.

“You instead… You look really good, Adora.” She says leisurely, rolling my name on her tongue with a feline purr that tastes like dry wit. She’s studying me, I can see that. She’s reading me like a book, my emotions stupidly pictured all over my face. Hers is instead perfectly straight aside from her customary smug sneer. I can’t tell what she’s thinking, but she certainly isn’t as nervous as I am. I try to get a grip on myself, I don’t want to look as vulnerable as I feel. I take my hand off of her back.

“It looks like whatever the case, you always land on your feet, huh?” Catra goes on maliciously. “Shadow Weaver’s favorite back in the Fright Zone and local hero here in Bright Moon!” And now I know for sure that she’s hostile and using her usual sarcasm and arrogance to get to me. And it kind of works. Why do I have to always be thrown off balance from her? What did I expect? How stupid I am … I never learn. I know her tricks and I won’t let her do that to me again.

“I don’t know where you’re trying to get at and I don’t want to know either.” I say mustering confidence. It looks incredible how just moments ago I was concerned about her and wanting to hold her, while now we’re adversaries. Not my choice though and I’ll hold the line.

“Of course not, _Princess_.” She purrs challenging, but I don’t take it up even though for once I relate with Shadow Weaver’s lack of forbearance to Catra’s impudence.

“Why are you here? What’s happened?” I simply ask trying to sound the most neutral I can.

“What do you think?” She utters raising an eyebrow as if the answer was plain and it’s just me being dumb and unaware.

“Well, I have no idea. Last time I saw you, you were leaving on a tank of the Horde, after trying to destroy this very castle.”

“Indeed…” She mumbles looking around in my room. “This place is… considerable. You’ve settled down rather well. It’s only you sleeping in this huge comfy room, right _Princess_? No wonder you didn’t want to go back to our miserable bunk, huh?” I feel it crawling on my skin, the sneaky way she’s playing with me. Twisting things at her liking to make me feel somehow at fault.

“Don’t you try Catra!” Heck, I’m already losing it… I don’t know how she does it. “Just tell me what happened!”

“Or…?” She purrs again and I kind of want to slap her. “Will you call the guards and tell that the evil bad Catra is here? Or will you have the guts to personally slay me with your big shining sword?”

I grab her upper arm maybe a bit too tight and plant my eyes into hers, dead serious. “You came here to me. Not the other way around. So tell me why?”

“So now you like it rough. When did you grow that inclination? Is that a princess thing?” She teases again and it only makes it worse, only makes me tighten the grip harder on her arm. I might be adding a more bruise to her already rich array, but I’m not thinking straight and she’s responsible for that.

“If you’re here to fight, then let’s fight. Otherwise answer me and quit your cocky show.”

“I escaped from the Fright Zone.” She utters concise, leaving behind for a moment her attitude, of which I’m glad.

“What does that mean?” I inquire coldly.

“What on Etheria can it mean?! You should know that better than anyone. You did that too. I defected.”

“Why?” We’re so close that I guess she can hear the thumping in my chest. She really got me worked up. But at least she seems willing to talk seriously now.

“After I came back from our last battle, Lord Hordak was quite pissed at me. He had me thrown in a dungeon and tortured.” She discloses. Hence my worries had grounds, but now they seem too distant to recall them and why they occurred in the first place.

“Why did he do that?” I keep going, never loosening my grip on her arm. There’s a thin streak of blood trickling between my fingers and a corner of my mind claims that it must hurt. But I don’t listen.

“That you should ask him!” She barks, finally yanking her arm free from my grasp; few droplets of blood fly around and land on my sheets. She scowls at me for some moments before talking again. “Apparently he had a hard time believing that you could overturn the outcome of an allegedly won battle with just the swinging of your fancy sword. He thought I had given in my weakness for you and somehow helped you.”

“That’s bullshit!“ I snap reflexively. Not long ago I’d have called such a surmise a dream. But Catra herself put me totally out of that delusion.

“Exactly what I’ve told him.” She sneers, before going back to grim. “And he didn’t like to hear that. At all.”

“So you just got out of there?! How?” I blurt still angry, shutting that tiny voice in my head eager to empathize with Catra’s rough captivity and wanting to instinctively protect her. I can’t trust her that this isn’t another trick. She never wanted my protection anyway.

“In short, I just waited for Kyle to have the shift guarding me.” She scoffs again, with her patented smug grin that once made me smile. But not these days. Not anymore.

“So you escaped the Fright Zone as if it was a breeze, then crossed the Whispering Woods offhandedly and finally turn up right in my balcony?!” I’m losing it again… I can’t help myself. It burns the way she always thinks she can play with me, hurt me, manipulate me, make me feel guilty then show up and act like it’s all my fault. And I have to buy all the crap she fobs me off with. “You must really think I’m brain damaged to believe such bullshit! You defected… Sure how not?!”

“I never said it was a cakewalk!” She retorts genuinely angry. Raw emotion and for the first time since she woke up, I’m positive that it’s not pretense. “I had to hide in ducts for days and pass through the sewer! I walked in the night to avoid freezing in the sleep into the woods! I haven’t eaten or drank for days, nor slept lest I’d be caught from the squadrons sent after me, or the monsters lurking in the damn woods!” She catches her breath, her features contorted in rage and what looks like fear.

This time is my turn studying her with crossed arms. It could be truth or lies and I have no clue. Sure her worn out appearance seems to corroborate the story, but I’m not that naïve and I know it could all be a fabrication. After a long moment of quiet I break the silence.

“Why have you walked all the way to here?” I ask flat and dry as the desert.

“If you ask it like that I wonder it myself.” She retorts with a bitter scoff.

“I’m being serious! You were willing to raze to the ground this whole city few months ago, not giving a damn to me or any of those who live here. And now what? You seek for refuge here?”

“I’m not seeking for anything!” She pauses for a second, glaring intensely at me. “You’re right it was a mistake coming here.” She stands from the bed and heads to the window. She’s trudging heavily, she must be wounded in her leg.

“Not that fast Catra.” I reach out to her and take her wrist. Gently this time. “Where do you think you’re going with that leg?”

“I’ve made it climbing up here!” She retorts still glaring at me. But she doesn’t try to wriggle her wrist away from my hand and I know how to read Catra’s signs.

“You won’t last a day out there. People will see your Horde uniform. People remember your face. They will lynch you. Believe me. They tried that with me too and I barely made it alive!”

Her ear twitches lifting up for a moment and I know I piqued her interest. She stops walking, but refuses to gaze at me and looks at the window instead. The times when she’d ask me all excited to tell her the whole story are gone.

“Let them try.” She answers emotionless and it doesn’t sound like the bold bluster I’d expect from her. Not one of her typical cocky claims as if she can make it just out of her sass. Rather her tone sounds more like one of resignation.

And it’s worrisome to hear such kind of state of mind from Catra. She’s frayed in her body and in her spirit. And we’re apart, she won’t let me help or do anything. This awareness being slammed on my face one more time weighs on me. I suddenly feel so tired of fighting with her. And I really don’t want her to go, that’s the last thing I want… her being out of my sight. It makes all the remnant of my anger evaporate.

“Don’t leave Catra.” I insist and I feel as soft as my voice and words sound. “You’ll get hurt.”

“As if you care.” She spits never turning to me. Neither pulling her wrist away though.

“I DO care!” I claim heatedly. _Don’t you know how much I’ve been thinking of you? How much I’ve missed you? The river of tears I’ve cried for you and that I’d hold you in my arms right here, right now if you’d only promisde me that you aren’t against me anymore?! Don’t you know that I don’t want us to ever part again…_ Struck from my unspeakable thoughts I can’t manage to actually add a single word, even if now Catra has turned to me and seems to wait for me to say more.

“Yeah, I noticed.” She utters bitterly once she realizes I‘m not going to speak further. My hand loosens the hold on her wrist and it sloppily swings back to her side. We’re disconnected now and I feel like I’m losing her again. Losing her forever. I can’t afford that, I feel a knot swelling in my throat and my eyes start to burn.

“I never wanted to leave you! Never wanted to fight you… I never meant to hurt you…” For the stars… I’m a mess right now. I’m letting myself too exposed… It’s in my voice, in my face… Catra might take advantage and strike so easily. She might break me... I don’t care. “I’m sorry Catra. So very sorry.”

“But you did leave. And fight. And hurt.” She utters trying to sound neutral. I know better.

“I couldn’t go back to the Horde-“

“Spare me the lecture!” She interjects crossly. “We’ve been through this already. You couldn’t come back home to me, just like I was only doing my duty and loyally fighting for the side that brought us both up.”

"The Horde is the wrong side and you know that! You’ve always known that… The fact that I left never had to do with you.”

“And the fact that I fought for the Horde hadn’t to do with you.” She growls before adding the most sour of the jokes. “I was just following orders.”

“Following orders?!?” I roar in disbelief, while I feel the anger mounting high again in an instant.

I get carried away to the point that I have no idea what I’m doing. I grab my own shirt and pull it off, then toss it aside. Catra’s eyes widen while I do so, I record it but it doesn’t relent my drive any bit. I stomp close to her, standing in just my panties and bra then I spin around, displaying my constant reminder of Catra’s hatred for me. My back is bare and exposed for her to see the bright red vertical scars running down the length of my spine. The wound that marred my body and soul.

“Were you ordered to do this?!?” I yell, almost scream. Tears welling in my eyes and I fight hard to swallow them back.

Silence stretches for a time that I can’t gauge. Seems forever to me, but maybe it is only moments. This huge tension put in pause, this bubble of void suddenly engulfing us both tears me apart. My mind keeps spinning around all the pain I‘ve kept suppressed the deepest I could into my heart and that’s now fully resurfacing. The knot in my throat throbs and swells and I feel like can’t breathe. I just gasp for air and break in smothered sobs. My hands run to cover my own flushed face as a stream of tears overflows the inadequate restraint of my lashes. My head bows in defeat.

She keeps quiet and I keep quietly crying. How foolish I must look to Catra now… Whining like a wimpy child and standing almost naked before her… not even facing her… I don’t dare to turn around and I just wallow in my chagrin. She might be sneering at me in ridicule now, might be despising my weakness, might be disappointed from my hysterical display or even angry at me. Or she might be indifferent… For all I know she might even have left with her stealthy steps and I’m here dumbly unaware crying like an idiot… I don’t want to know. I just want all this pain to go away…

The slightest touch of finger pads caresses my back. Her pads are cat-like, hence the softest of all… so I’ll always know when it’s her touching me. A shiver runs down my spine and my whole body quivers. I realize how cold I am now… because her pads are so warm. My foolish brain pictures those warm hands holding me and pulling me in a welcoming embrace. I hang on and wait but it doesn’t happen. Catra’s finger stroke down the length of my scars with a gentle touch, retracing the path her hands traveled the day of the battle. Then they settle on my hips, thumbs gently circling on my back. My body screams for more contact, but I stay still, trying to steady my sobs and catch my breath.

I feel a tickle on my shoulder blades, it’s her hair. She’s stepped closer but still not touching me, short for her hands. Until I feel a feathery brush of lips on my nape… it only lasts a moment but it’s unmistakable. And I’m shattered with the electricity running through my whole body. I’m set on fire in an instant and my face goes ablaze, I must be as red as a beet... my sobs are now replaced by quick pants. My heart pounds in my chest and my eardrums throb with the pressure, I’m trembling from head to toes. Yearning for my back to meet her front… too scared to turn around or do or say a thing, no matter how I’m aching for my body to make full contact with hers. I’ve never felt like this before. Not with her or anyone else. I don’t think I could ever feel like this way for anyone but her…

“I-I regret… I-I did this… to you…” Catra stutters. Her words come barely audible and her voice is unsteady. Her breath is labored although not as much as mine.

Never in my life I’ve heard Catra saying something like this… Remorse… With such tremble in her voice… I’m shocked and I need to know it’s real. This all feels like a dream.

“Do you?” I murmur uncertain. It’s not like I can have any semblance of guarantee that I’m being told the truth, even if she were to repeat the same words a hundred times. But I just need to hear her voice confirming… reassuring…

She leans closer and our bodies make finally contact. Her warmth makes me feel like I’m drowning and her scent intoxicates me. Her tail coils around my calf the way it did when she wanted me to know that there was a secret she wanted to share with me. Her arms circle my waist and hold me more firmly. She stretches close to my ear and inhales deeply into my hair. I can’t tell for sure in my bewildered state, but it seems like she lingers there for longer than it’s needed to take air in. Finally she releases a breathless whisper that delivers hot air and another slight brush of her lips on my neck.

“I do.”

My lower belly melts in liquid warmth, while I feel a tingle between my legs. My body goes limp and I feel like I could faint. I have no idea what’s happening to me. Or maybe I do, but I don’t want to face the consequence of it… It’s too overwhelming, I can’t possibly endure it… It feels so strong and confusing and new and foreign…

“Catra… please… please…”I beg helplessly, but it’s all I can do now. “Don’t play with me about this… Not this way…”

We stay like that for long moments, with me completely lost in her arms, her head idly leaning against my neck, her lips occasionally caressing my skin. Then she gently urges me to turn around and I can’t resist even if I want to. I don’t want her to see the searing blush in my face, the streaks of the bitter tears I’ve cried for her, the whole mess in my features… I don’t want her to see how badly I want her now and how it scares me that I do.

But she makes me spin and she sees. Her face, unlike mine, is composed. Sure I can see that there are emotions stirring underneath the surface, which nature I can’t tell. She isn’t angry or despising or scornful though… and that’s a relief. But she isn’t anything like the fragile, needy, exposed mess I am being now.

We face each other for a while. Her hands are now cupping my jaw and she’s staring at me so intensely. I look into those two mismatched eyes and I wish I could read what she’s thinking now. She must be reading how much I want to feel her lips again… against mine this time… longer and firmer this time… She can’t possibly not know… I’m gazing at her lips… we’re so close now… our breaths mingling and foreheads almost touching. Catra what did you do to me? How did you do that? I sigh and close my eyes, leaving it to her… because with the way I feel now I can’t possibly make any move… I couldn’t take a rejection… I would be forever broken.

She gently leads me to the bed and makes me sit; she picks my shirt up from the floor and hands it to me.

“Put it on. You’re cold.” Her voice is gentle, calm and steady. She sounds like she cares. Her composure before my overflowing emotions is somewhat reassuring. But not quite what I hoped from her.

I do as she suggests. She sits on the bed as well, a foot away from me. Distance… She wants distance and I will respect it, no matter how it makes me feel devastated.

“Listen Adora…” She starts hesitatingly. “I know it sounds crazy, but… the thing is that I was mad… so crazy mad and I wanted revenge… I wanted her to pay… to suffer…”

“Who?” I ask flatly and automatically, most of my energy put in keeping from falling apart at the notion that she wants distance from me, when all I want is to hold her. When I can finally name the way I feel for her.

Catra grunts and averts my eyes, before reluctantly hissing with loathing. “She-Ra.” I see her jaw clenching and I hear her quietly growling between her teeth. “That hideous… _princess_.” The title spat like an insult. “That giant sword lady who took away from me the only one who ever cared for me.”

I stare at her, her eyes carefully kept away from mine. I see her fist tightening and untightening and her tail wagging nervously. Her nostrils flaring at the rhythm of her deep breathing. I know how to read Catra’s signs.

“I wanted to rip her off of you.” She resumes. “But it’s crazy I know… you’re her… and she’s you… you are a _princess_ … my-… Adora, my-… _friend_ … Adora… she is a _Princess of Power_ no less…” She snorts, then swallows hard and goes on. “And I wanted her… I wanted _you_ … to be in pain… to know how it feels when your heart is snatched away from your chest and rent to pieces…”

“Catra…” I start and I simply don’t know how to go on… there aren’t words to soothe that pain. A pain that dug a rift between us. That causes her to want to be distant. A pain that I caused.

“You were the only one Adora...” She mumbles while her face cringes in pain, eyes shut now. “And you’re the one who left me as if I was the worthless scum I’ve always been told I am. Replaced me with new best friends in no time. Showed me how insignificant I am.”

Her invisible scars are now in sight as clearly as mine were moments ago. Any less deep or devastating. I could dish off my explanations and say that I’m sorry a million times… but it wouldn’t help a thing and it makes me want to cry again. I can’t see any outcome of this that isn’t endless pain and unfulfilled desire. I can’t utter a single word.

“I’m still angry. Still bitter. A lot. But I regret I hurt you.” She gets out with a final struggle, then she curls up hugging her knees to her chest and wrapping her tail around herself. I know that this is her way to express that she doesn’t want anyone to get close. Not even me. Especially not me now. And likely never again from now on.

“You asked why I came just here Adora.” She unexpectedly resumes with unspeakable dejection in her voice; dark circles dug under her eyes. “Well, there isn’t really an answer to that question.”

My mouth is agape but I really can’t talk. All the words that occur to my mind seem to be nothing else but offensive trivialities. My dry throat wouldn’t be able to let out a sound anyway.

“There’s no place for me in the world… I don’t belong anywhere… I just- I don’t know…”

A faint glow of pink-orange light starts picturing itself on Catra’s features and we both know that dawn is knocking at the door. This long night of emotional exertion is over and it’s leaving no hope for the next day to go any better.

“I’m so tired.” She mutters then gives up everything and simply slumps down on the mattress exhausted as she looks, and I follow suit.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm happy with this chapter, even if now i've read it kinda 100 times so i lost my objectivity!! i rely on you guys to please tell me what you think about it and if you liked it.  
> the length of my chapters is pretty much inconsistent, just so you know that.  
> thanks to all who left kudos or comments!! it helps a lot with the creative process!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Catra's arrival sees an animated awakening. Not everyone in Bright Moon is glad to see the newcomer. Adora owes some explanations to Glimmer and tries to figure out what to do about Catra now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys, sorry for taking this long to update. it was not much because of the writing or editing, but job deadlines and june crazy schedule! jeez, i'm deep into a thick agenda right now! i had to put the fic aside for a while.

Adora is still deep in sleep. The previous night has been demanding and now she just wants to linger in a cozy slumber, holding to the warm soft form that’s quietly snoring beside her. There’s much to worry about, but for now she feels truly at home, intertwined like she’s one with the body sharing the bed with her. The knock at the door calls her back from her placid dreams, but they are just too sweet to let go of them right away. So she just tightens her arms around the body she’s holding and moves aside the ruffled dark wisps brushing on her face. She’s missed that tickling waking her up in the morning. Oh she’s missed it so much…

“Adora, you okay? It’s almost noon…” Glimmer’s voice comes muffled from behind the door and Adora’s ears take a while to process the sound. Her body is still refusing to wake up and cooperate, needing for the kind of peaceful rest she’s getting now and that she hasn’t had in quite a long while now. But an alarm starts anyway to ring in the back of her head.

She forces her eyes open. Catra is still deep in sleep all wrapped in her arms - so beautiful and peaceful, Adora inwardly sighs – but there’s no time to lose, because Glimmer might-

Before Adora finishes to formulate the thought Glimmer teleports herself into her room - an habit the young princess has always had since she’s been living in Bright Moon and that Adora has always found harmless. Until now.

“Adora, we should get go- CATRA?!!” Glimmer shrieks with horror seeing them both still lying in bed.

The cat-like girl breaks her eyes open and starts to untangle from Adora’s arms and the mess of sheets winded up around them, but her movements are dull. Adora who’s slightly more alert props up on the bed, but pulls Catra’s tail that’s still wrapped around her thigh. The cat-like girl hisses and with a resolute yank they are finally unraveled.

“Adora get away, I’ll catch her!!” Glimmer yells and she summons bubbles of magic power in her hands, ready to strike.

Adora jumps down the bed, but keeps blocking the way. “Glimmer calm down, she’s not here to-“

“GUARDS!! ALARM! Horde intrusion!!” Glimmer shouts before Adora can complete her sentence. Catra is on her feet now, but the sleepiness and her limp leg slow her down noticeably.

“Glimmer she’s not going to attack!” The blonde cries out louder always shielding Catra, but things are happening too fast.

Three guards armed with spears rush into Adora’s room in no time and flank Glimmer, who’s rabidly glaring at Catra. She simply isn’t paying attention to the blonde’s words. Seeing that Adora isn’t clearing the way, Glimmer takes the matter in her own hands and materializes close by her friend. She firmly grabs her elbow and teleports her to the other side of the room. The guards can finally aim toward the intruder and spears start to fly in Catra’s direction, but she manages to dash away and leaps on a ledge, then awkwardly jumps on every elevated piece of furniture she can reach. Adora stirs into Glimmer’s firm arms to set herself free, while screaming not to hit Catra, but no one seems to heed her words.

When Bow appears at her door, arrow already notched and taking aim toward Catra, Adora forcefully yanks Glimmer with all her strength and jumps on the archer just in time. The shove deviates the trajectory and makes the dart miss Catra by few inches. Catra’s drive to skip the arrow makes her lose balance; she skids on the ledge she’s perched upon and falls down, collapsing on the floor with a dull thud.

“STOP THE ATTACK!!” Adora screams again running toward Catra who’s still on the floor. The blonde defensively positions herself between her and the Bright Mooners.

“Adora what the hell are you doing?!” Glimmer yells disturbed.

“She’s not a threat! She’s not here on behalf of the Horde!” She cries with her hands raised up to keep people distant. “She defected!”

“What’s this story?! How do you know that?!” Glimmer asks in disbelief.

“She-… She told me that.” Adora replies, sensing how feeble it must sound to someone who doesn’t know the things transpired between her and Catra the previous night.

“So what?! Holy Runestones Adora, don’t tell me that you believe her!!”

“I…” Adora is taken aback and can’t quite give an answer. She instinctively turns to look at Catra, searching for some sort of back up, but the cat like girl is just glowering at everyone with a low pitched snarl held between her teeth.

“You’re too naïve when it comes to this Horde piece of trash.” Glimmer hisses running out her patience. “Open your eyes Adora! She’s been manipulating you all along!” She signals to Bow, who promptly jumps and tackles Adora, pushing her aside and clearing the way to Catra one more time, while Glimmer grabs the sword of the guard beside her.

She materializes just before Catra, who growls and lunges forward with her claws ready to slash. The young princess swiftly teleports herself again on the cat-like girl’s back, taking advantage of that’s she bent ahead. Adora blenches and screams thinking that Glimmer is going to pierce Catra square to her heart, but instead the young princess hits her hard on the back of her head with the hilt of the sword.

Adora gasps, still held in Bow’s arms as she sees Catra keeling over. Her mismatched eyes turn to hers in what could be either a look requesting for help or an angry gaze for the imminent defeat. It only lasts a split second before the cat-like girl’s eyes fall closed and she hits the floor unconscious.

 

+++

 

Glimmer imperiously instructs the guards to take an unconscious Catra to the most secure of the cells. Adora tries to barge in, but is immediately shot from Glimmer’s resolute stare. One that makes her uncharacteristically resemble her mother, in other words one that leaves no room for arguing.

“Adora, _please_ let me handle this.” Glimmer sternly silences the blonde with an imperative order wrapped around a polite request. “Safety comes first and as Princess of Bright Moon I can’t afford a member of the Horde to stroll around this court, it’s simply too risky. This is final.”

Adora’s life long aptitude for subduing her instincts in front of the authority gets the best of her and she shuts her mouth at once.

“Good.” Glimmer nods then addresses to the guards. “Take the prisoner to the cell. But make sure that she’s treated respectfully and carefully. Arrange for a good restoring meal, a change of clean clothes and medical assistance as soon as she wakes up.”

There’s no small amount of surprise on Adora’s face. Both because she has never seen Glimmer parading such a natural leadership, neither she expected her to grant an enemy like Catra a fair treatment. _Maybe she’s doing it out of regard for me?_ Adora thinks to herself, but isn’t sure. She keeps studying Glimmer’s resolute face which persists unchanged even after the guards have left with an unconscious Catra in tow. Adora’s focus is then caught from Bow’s hand stretched to her; he helps her standing up.

“What’s that dazed face?” Bow asks her. “You didn’t think that we’d hurl her in a dungeon and throw away the key, did you?”

“No, but…”

“The Rebellion treats its prisoner with compassion.” Glimmer declares gravely. “No matter who’s the prisoner. Everyone’s worth of respect.”

The three of them remain quiet for some moments; an increasing tension is floating above them, so Bow breaks the silence.

“I’m sorry I had to pin you down Adora. It was a too dangerous situation and you were kinda freaking out...”

“I was not!” Adora snaps unnerved. “You all weren’t listening to me! She wasn’t going to attack or anything! Heck she was just sleeping when you arrived!” She turns to Glimmer with an accusing glare. The young princess’ face stays still; stern but calm.

“Speaking of which… Bow could you _please_ leave us alone?” Glimmer asks using again that very same tone of her mother, which entails that answering ‘no’ isn’t an option. The boy is perplexed and hesitates a moment. Being asked such a thing from Glimmer is totally uncommon for him, but he feels the pull of her invisible authoritative order. Seeing his confusion she reassures him adding: “I need to discuss some _girls matter_ with Adora.”

“Oh… Huh… sure. Girls stuff. Fine, I’ll see you in the dining hall later then.” And the leaves, peeking back at the girls a couple of times with a puzzled face, before disappearing behind the corner of the corridor.

Once they are alone Glimmer closes the door and sits on the floor, just in the same spot where she sat the night before, then beckons Adora, who flops down beside her with an annoyed huff.

“Tell me what’s going on.” There isn’t the usual mirth in her voice, or the hue of quiet reassurance that’s often part of Glimmer’s tone. But neither she’s angry, she’s just calm and earnest. The request for explanations resonates as a demand nonetheless.

Adora studies her friend for a moment, evaluating what to say. Some of the things that happened are very private and only between her and Catra. Some of the things are just Adora’s and no one needs to know the way she feels... Plus none of that really have to do with the security of Bright Moon. But the blonde cares for being sincere with Glimmer, so she proceeds to explain.

“Not much in fact. She showed up out of my window in the middle of the night. She’s told me that she defected the Horde. She said that after the battle of Bright Moon she was held responsible for the failure and incarcerated. You noticed that she wasn’t present in the last skirmishes, right?”

“Of course I did. “ Glimmer nods sternly. “And I was glad of that. Her presence has always been cause of disturbance for you. Because of your… _history_ … with her.” She throws an enigmatic sideways glance to Adora, who doesn’t notice it.

“But her absence also worried me. And it turns out that she was actually in trouble.”

“A trouble she’s made herself!” Glimmer retorts with emphasis. “She could have quit the Horde like you did. You asked her to do so multiple times! But she chose not to. She doesn’t deserve your compassion!”

“It’s not so easy Glimmer.” Adora instinctively justifies. The vulnerability Catra has exposed the night before makes her want to grant her a fair judgment. “I can’t really say why she’s sticking with the Horde this obstinately. The twisted way we were raised… she always had it harder than me… We have always looked out for each other… and I failed her when I left…”

Adora trails off, knowing that her words are lame and can’t really convey the blurred edges of Catra’s situation. Only someone who had lived what she and Catra have lived back in the Fright Zone – those childhood memories that Light Hope recently refreshed – could possibly understand. And even Adora herself can’t really untangle to what point Catra’s doing is rooted in actual loyalty to Hordak – she doubts there’s much of it – or where her ambition starts and finally how much of her personal search for revenge on Adora has driven her recent actions.

“She still means to me.” The blonde finally admits, sighing and staring at the floor. That’s all in all, the whole point.

“But it doesn’t lessen any bit that she chose the side that’s perpetrating violence against Etheria.” Glimmer retorts and it’s nothing but true. “Is that why you’ve been gloomy lately? Because you were worried about her?”

“Among the other things… yes.” Adora sighs again, taking the weight of this secret off of her chest.

Glimmer keeps quiet for some time, deep in thought.

“You remember what she did, right?” She finally utters gravely. “How she attacked Thaymor even when she knew that it was a peaceful civilian town… That she barged in the All-Princess Ball and kidnapped me and Bow… That I was cursed and Entrapta died… That in the final attack my mom almost got killed and you yourself were scarred… You remember this all, don’t you Adora? You remember she was always there in the front line?”

“I-I do remember Glimmer.” Adora exhales heavily. “I know well that she’s made some big mistakes. Believe me I haven’t forgotten any of that.”

“But you’re willing to hand her your leniency so easily.”

“I don’t know what I’m willing to do.” The blonde replies with more firmness. “I just know that deep down she isn’t a bad person. Her actions have been heinous, I’m not disregarding that. But now she’s left the Horde and turned to me… I still don’t know exactly why, but perhaps it’s so that I help her changing course. She still has a connection with me, I know that.” Adora’s mind returns to the former night when she was lost in Catra’s arms. Such closeness can’t possibly have been feigned.

Glimmer scoffs bitterly. “You’re so naïve when it comes to her.” Her lips are tensed to a thin line and her eyebrows are furrowed.

“We can’t have any guarantee that she’s telling the truth, I know.” Adora admits scratching the back of her head. “But what if she is?! If there’s a chance she could turn to good I can’t let it go wasted.”

“And what if she isn’t? What are we risking then letting a Horde spy inside the castle? Don’t you see that the stakes are too high?”

The blonde crosses her arms and lowers her gaze deep in thought. Glimmer has the point, but so does Adora. This stalemate doesn’t seem to have any way out.

“She was incarcerated you said. Then what happened?” Glimmer sternly breaks the silence.

“She managed to escape and traveled to here. And last night she reached my balcony.”

“Did she go anywhere else in the Castle? Did she see or speak to anyone?”

“Not that I know. Since she showed up, she’s been here in my room all along. We have… _talked_.“ Adora blushes, thinking that their exchange can’t be entirely classified as _talking_ , but there’s no need to mention disrobing, touching and hugging. “She was exhausted and me too, so we both fell asleep. And that’s all before you found us.”

“It seems to me that her defecting has nothing in common with yours.” Glimmer reasons aloud, narrowing her eyes with a grimace pictured on her face. Her despise plain in her tone. “She hasn’t opened her eyes to the wrong of the Horde, she doesn’t regret her evil actions and I doubt that she has any intention of changing course. It’s just that now that she’s disgraced she decides that it’s smarter crawling back to you and begging for your forgiveness and protection. How convenient!”

“She wasn’t exactly begging for anyone’s forgiveness.” Adora retorts. “And least of all my protection. I don’t know what she expected.”

“But she had the nerve to come to you! After she’s tried to kill you – other than trying to destroy my home land. And you act like it’s okay… You have such a soft spot for her.”

“No, it’s not okay Glimmer!” Adora counters. “We grew up together. We had no one but each other back then. So yes, I still care for her! And despite all she did, I think she still cares for me. She said she regrets she hurt me.”

“And the First Ones only know if it’s true!” Glimmer blurts caustic. “At this point she could even sell her own mother to save her neck!”

“You don’t know the first thing about her! So don’t say things like that of her!!” Adora bites back angrily. “Catra has certainly made ill choices, but she is not an unmoral person. And you should be really careful mentioning mothers of orphans!”

Adora knows that Glimmer was merely using a saying, but it’s anyway a raw nerve and it burns the shallow way the thing was mentioned. Glimmer looks down, a hint of blush in her cheeks reveals how she’s regretting her poor word choice. Before she can utter any word Adora speaks again.

“She was being sincere. She was exposed and… It was intense and… precious to me. And I won’t allow anyone to tarnish that moment, not even you Glimmer!”

Glimmer gazes at her for some dense quiet moments, stewing in that she overstepped the mark. She’s made the same mistake the former day, letting her mouth slip a bit too far. And she’s learned from experience that she better fix it right away. A handful of donuts wouldn’t help much this time.

“I am sorry Adora. I apologize for my lack of respect. And you’re right I don’t know her the way you do. I understand that she still means to you. I just…” She breathes in deeply. “Her actions against me and what I care for left a mark on me. I myself was orphaned of my father because of the Horde… I can’t overlook any of that. And I can’t bring myself to trust her at all. There is just too much at stake.”

“Glimmer…” Adora takes her friend’s hand in hers. The mention of King Micah doesn’t miss to bring Adora down from her anger. “I don’t want this all to put us one against the other. You’re my dear friend and the last thing I want is to fight with you.”

“Neither do I…” Glimmer releases, her features relaxing and shedding the dignified demeanor she’s held in place this far. Adora realizes that this talk has been going on in an offensive/defensive dynamic as if they are adversaries and she doesn’t want that to happen. Not with Glimmer too.

“So now what does she have in mind?”

“I wish I knew that. I have no idea if she meant to stay or leave or what. Let alone why she came here in the first place. Maybe even she doesn’t know and she just run away without thinking of what’s next. It would totally be Catra’s style.”

“You believe her then?” The young princess asks sounding weary. “That she’s here meaning no harm? That it’s not some plot from the Horde?”

Adora inhales deeply and takes her fingers to her temples. There’s no way to be completely sure and she can’t deny that a part of her has qualms believing Catra’s story entirely. She’s been betrayed and tricked from her a bit too many times to be able to stake her life on just her word. On the other hand though, Adora is absolutely sure that, aside from her sarcasm and teasing, Catra couldn’t possibly have lied the previous night… Adora begged her not to play with her… So no, it’s just unthinkable. And the way Adora felt… she can’t have been victim of some elaborate form of seduction. In fact Catra hasn’t done anything of sorts, it’s been mostly Adora stripping out of the same shirt she’s still wearing and then finding herself longing for the other girl’s hot touch. It was Adora waiting to be kissed… And it was Catra the one who called a halt to that. She could have taken advantage of the blonde, could have done whatever she wanted. Could have tied Adora in her sleep – or kidnapped or killed her - and roam around Bright Moon undisturbed. She could have opened the doors of the Castle to the whole of the Evil Horde army. But she just laid back defenseless in Adora’s arms.

“I really don’t know Glimmer…” She sighs. “When it comes to Catra I can’t be completely objective…” She finally utters, torn between what she yearns to believe and what her rational suspicious mind warns her to carefully deal with.

“Yeah... I noticed that she has a special allure on you.“ Glimmer mumbles absently.

“Excuse me?” Adora tilts her head with a quizzical expression.

“Well you know… That _girls matter_ that I’ve seen…” Glimmer hesitates, vaguely gesturing with her hand. “I hadn’t gotten that you two were _that_ close. It makes sense that you’re biased about her.”

“I don’t get what you mean. What does _‘girls matter’_ mean? Or ‘ _that close_ ’? Or _‘biased?!’_ “ Adora retorts, feeling the temperature of her cheeks rising.

“Don’t play dumb, you just said you can’t be objective. That’s bias.” Glimmer simply clarifies. “And remember that time when you said that you never slept without other people around? I thought you meant that the Horde cadets slept in dorms all together… not that they slept in the same bed! Is that a Horde customary thing?”

“No! They don’t do that!” Adora’s face goes fully ablaze. “I mean, they usually don’t, but-“

“But you did, right?” Glimmer finishes for her, stretching closer and scanning Adora with an intense look. “You used to sleep with Catra.”

“It’s not like that!” Adora justifies herself all flustered. Glimmer’s word choice doesn’t really help. “She and I didn’t– We aren’t– _weren’t!_ – oh nevermind!”

Glimmer keeps quiet, looking at Adora and most likely waiting for her to formulate a clear answer.

“Okay, yes we shared the bed… from time to time… - an understatement, but there’s no need for Glimmer to know that - but it was because we…” Adora thinks back to the reason why they originally started sleeping in the same bed and can’t really recall it. It’s like it’s been that way since before she could remember things.

“Because you…?”

“I don’t know…” Adora’s feeling totally awkward and Glimmer doesn’t seem to want to let go of this matter. “Catra and I were best friends. That’s all. Like you and Bow.”

“But Bow and I don’t sleep together. Friends just sleep in another bed.” The young princess candidly counters. “The two of you must have been really close if you hooked up like that.” Glimmer’s word choice keeps being inopportune and keeps bringing fire on Adora’s face and chest.

“Listen Glimmer, I know it may look a bit… _like that!_ But between me and Catra there isn’t anything… _like that!_ We were close yes, but in another way. And if I can’t be objective about her, it’s because she still means to me… But not _like that!_ ” Adora gasps after her tirade, feeling the most clumsy of the girls.

And she isn’t even sure if she put Glimmer out of that speculation. If only she had better control on the bloodstream of her face it would be easier to keep certain things to herself. Because, yes Adora has feelings… _like that!_ But it’s unrequited, so it doesn’t really matter and there’s no need for anyone to know of the foolishness of her heart.

Glimmer assesses her for some moments and it’s not clear to what conclusion she’s gotten to. She doesn’t look entirely convinced neither really skeptical.

“Would you tell me if something is going on?” She finally asks looking vulnerable. “We’re friends Adora. Friends trust each other.”

“I would tell you.” Adora confirms. And she means it. It’s just that now that all that’s going on are the ebb and flows of her foolish heart it doesn’t seem like there’s anything to disclose. Adora is glad that Glimmer seems much less nervous now and she doesn’t want to waste the new found serenity.

The young princess smiles and stands up, straightening up her shirt.

“We need to talk to my mother and tell her about Catra. She will know what to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed the chapter, it was a needed confrontation between Adora and Glimmer, stating how Catra is not so welcome from everyone. next chapter we'll see the Adora and Catra interacting again and there's going to be room for a bit of humor, fluff and a plot twist. if you like my fic, please leave a review (mostly recommended) or a kudo (very appreciated)!  
> see you guys!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora has confronted Glimmer about Catra's arrival in Bright Moon. Now Catra is held prisoner and Adora tries to ease things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! this is a long chapter, i hope you'll enjoy it. it's all interaction between Adora and Catra, written in first person Adora's POV except for the final part.

My feet move faster and faster as I approach the cells. Glimmer and I agreed that she’d go to update her mother and discuss the situation, while I’ll check on Catra. I don’t want her to wake up in a cell with a big headache and no clue about what’s going on. I don’t want her to think that she’s alone. I’m figuring that she won’t be in the best of moods… Heck, lately it seems like I only have to deal with pissed people. But at least Glimmer got along with my idea of splitting; she was positive that it was better if she was alone informing the Queen about the new guest of Bright Moon. She mentioned that her mother might go across one of her ‘ _intense’_ moments and that she better deal with it on her own. Yeah, I’m figuring another bad mood blooming between the walls of this Castle. I hope that Glimmer won’t be blamed, she has no part in this.

I hear clanking, voices of people quarreling and snarls. So I know that Catra is awake and that I’m close to the cell she was assigned to. I hoped I’d get to her before she regained consciousness, but lately I seem to be unlucky.

I speed up my pace till I reach the cell and eye a rabid Catra in shackles – tying her to the floor - hissing and growling at a couple of guards lying in wait by the threshold of the open cell. One is holding a covered tray and the other a bag with a red cross painted upon it and a fold of clothes. She’s yelling at them not to get close. I can see that she is scared, beyond her aggressive stance. Ears lowered and backward, tail up and still in alert, bristles raised upright. She is tense like a bowstring and looks like a caged animal. It hurts my heart seeing her like that. I’ve seen her like this many times during our childhood in the Fright Zone.

“I’ll take it from here.” I declare with steadfast voice, making my presence known to everyone.

She looks at me with eyes narrowed to a slit, but she ceases her fuss at once. The guards eye me then exchange a brief look between each other. They don’t say a word, but leave the supplies on the small table and head out of the cell.

“The key of the shackles.” I demand.

One of the guards lingers gazing at me for a couple of seconds from behind his visor, then hands the key to me. They walk past me and lock me and Catra inside the cell, muttering to call when I’m done and heading down the corridor.

I keep quiet till the noise of their steps is completely faded. Catra is glowering at me all the time, but I can see that she’s way more relaxed now, her tail is lowered and leisurely wagging.

“Seems like your friends were glad to see me, huh?” She breaks the silence with her customary sarcasm.

“Well, what did you expect Catra? A welcoming committee and unraveled carpets?”

“I don’t know. I’m not well versed with the local customs. Is that what they gave to you when you arrived here?”

“Not really.” I chuckle humorlessly. “They smuggled me inside the castle, then I sneaked out to rehearse my introduction, risked to be slain from a crowd of peasants, got lost in the woods and finally made my grand entrée as She-Ra.” I don’t really know why I’m telling her about this. I guess it’s because once upon a time she’d have wanted to know about my adventures and I selfishly wish she still did.

“Cool.” She replies unenthusiastically. “Pity that I don’t have any grossly long golden mane, a ridiculous tiara or a magical sword to impress them then.” She scoffs turning on her heels and trying to cross her arms with dramatic emphasis, but the shackles are in the way so she pulls and clinks the chains a bit before grunting in surrender.

“I’d say that you impressed them, but in another way.” I smile at her; I can still see the irreverent funny girl who used to be my best friend beyond all her scowling and dry wit. “Let me fix this.” I step close and take her hands in mine, she doesn’t resist. Her claws might be scary, but her hands are the softest of all. It sparkles emotions in me touching her.

I unlock her wrists and send her a small uncertain smile. “Better?”

She grunts in return and massages her wrists, looking away and taking a couple of steps far from me. We both know that she  ending up in a cell isn’t on me, but still I feel the ghost of her unspoken accusation. Probably because she’s feeling vulnerable and needs someone to blame and I’m the perfect candidate. As per habit it kind of works making me feel guilty; I want to ease her but I don’t know how. I don’t like how things evolved between us, that I don’t know how to communicate with her. We used to be so open and sometimes we didn’t even need words to understand each other.

I take a brief look around in the cell; the space isn’t ample but acceptable and the furniture scant but utilitarian. And they even managed to liven it up with some crystals and touches of glitter and pastel color here and there. There’s a bed that’s more or less as wide as our old bunk, but with a better mattress, clean sheets and soft blankets. Beside it there’s a nightstand with a crystal lamp and even some books. There aren’t windows, but a painting of a pretty marine landscape tries to make up for such lacking. Then there’s a table with a couple of chairs and in a corner the door to a small restroom. Everything is very tidy and although the word comfortable might sound a bit too much, it is respectable and far more homey than the cold gray angular spaces we used to live in the Fright Zone. This setting is also nicely silent; it lacks that constant whirring and clattering of robots or gears. And the air too is much better for there isn’t that stale smell of machinery grease and smog mixed with human perspiration or the occasional smell of the weird potions Shadow Weaver brewed.

Actually I’d say that there’s a delicious scent in the air here, I inhale deeper to get it better and I hear Catra doing the same. A loud roar echoes in the cell, but not one emitted from any mouth and the pieces come together at once. The food under the cover of the tray is spreading its fragrance and Catra’s belly is giving away that she’s hungry. I have no idea when she last ate something, but for sure she hasn’t swallowed anything since last night.

“You must be starving Catra! Here, this is for you.” I lift up the cover of the tray and a steaming set of dishes and bowls appear. The scrumptious waft fills the room and Catra’s stomach exults in response with another resounding grumble.

“No way I’m going to eat that disgusting Rebellion food!” She retorts in spite of that she’s obviously famished.

“Oh… but your belly seems to like the smell of this _disgusting_ food.” I reply amused and peeking at the food. “Look! There’s soup, rice, roasted potatoes and… this is grilled salmon! I’ve been told that cats love it.”

“I’m sure it’s poisoned!” She petulantly complains. But in some way her stubbornness makes me like her even more. And I take my chance to have some more fun.

“Okay then, suit yourself. I’m hungry too.” Which is true. So I sit by the table and start to eat, emitting noises of appreciation. The food is actually delicious, I guess that the guards took Glimmer’s order to provide a good restoring meal very seriously.

It doesn’t take more than a couple of seconds before Catra jumps on me. “Okay, not poisoned! Clear off!”

“Oh you changed your-” I don’t have the time to finish the question because she practically hurls me down the chair.

“Hands off of my food!” She growls and takes my place, starting gobble.

She can’t repress the sounds of relish or maybe she doesn’t care anymore to pretend that she didn’t crave the food. We had nothing like that back in the Fright Zone; our rations were scant and insipid slops filled with the nutrients soldiers need, but totally lacking of taste. Catra and I used to sneak out during our free hours, in search for berries and fruits we’d feast with. Once we found nuts and we stuffed ourselves with those so much that we both had stomachache afterwards. Shadow Weaver got mad at Catra and punished her, while I was exempt from the blame even if I insisted so much that it was my idea.

I come around from my train of memories and take a seat on the other chair. It doesn’t take that long before Catra is finished.

She gulps down a big glass of water to seal the end of her meal and relaxes, slumping onto the chair with a completely satisfied expression and a blissful smile. That’s the most chilled I’ve seen her since she arrived in Bright Moon. Actually since a much longer time... It would be an ideal image of her, if it wasn’t for her torn clothes and bruises scattered over her. Which reminds me that all those wounds need to be tended.

“Time to play doctor now.”

“What?!”

“You heard me.” I playfully insist. “You are wreck and it’s time that someone puts you back in order.”

“And that someone would be you?” She smirks maliciously.

“No one else volunteered, so it’ll have to make do.”

“I can do it myself.” _Hard head!_ For some reason she has to object every single thing I say.

“Doubtlessly. Now let’s move to the bed.” I poke her on her elbow, but she keeps still and I kind of see her cheeks coloring the faintest shade of pink. “C’mon get a move dummy!” I slap her gently on the back of her head.

“Ouch!” She shuts her eyes. “What the heck! That hurt!!”

“See that you need to be looked after? Now go.” And she finally limps to the bed, which reminds me that I definitely need to take a look at her leg. I take the first aid bag and we both sit on the bed.

“Let’s start with that hard head of yours.”

“Which felt much better before you slapped it!”

“Not my fault if you’re that stubborn. And now stay still and shut up.”

I carefully skim my hand over her unruly mane and she jumps a bit. When I feel the bump under my fingers she hisses sharply. “Stupid Sparkles!”

“Her name is Glimmer and she isn’t stupid at all.” I calmly dissent, while I open the medical bag.

“Indeed. Smartly and cowardly hitting me on my back.” Catra grumbles and I think about all the times she did the same to me and it didn’t seem to be unfair to her.

“You know what people say. In love and war…” I absently reply, but I regret it right away. I busy myself looking into the first aid bag, before Catra decides to start a banter about love and war.

Oddly so she keeps quiet and even nods with a pensive “Yup.”

I find an instant ice pack that I gently lean against Catra’s head and she moans halfway in relief and pain. She closes her eyes and her hand covers mine, holding the ice more firmly on the back of her head. She inhales solaced from the cold material against the bruised area. I take advantage of her closed eyes to watch her intently. She’s beautiful... Does she know that I have this kind of thoughts about her?

“We should take care of the other wounds too. Especially your leg.” I drop after a while, trying to sound casual.

“It’s just scratches. And it’s not the leg. It’s the ankle, it’s sprained.” She comments keeping her eyes closed.

“That’s good. I was afraid it was something worse. I can fix it.”

“You don’t have to.” She opens her eyes and looks at me with furrowed eyebrows. “And I don’t need you to.”

“I know.” I simply reply. “Now take these off.” I say, surprising myself with how bold I sound as I gently pull the fabric of Catra’s pants. Again it seems like she blushes the tiniest bit, but she doesn’t protest and does as she’s bidden.

We ease into this old habit of ours to check and tend the other’s wounds; it was regular routine back in the Horde after the sessions in the training room. There has never been any sort of embarrass between us and I have never thought of Catra as someone I might want to disrobe for other reasons than aid.

I inspect her ankle. It’s swollen but doesn’t look too bad, which is remarkable considering the little attention Catra paid to her injured limb. Then again she’s always had a surprising ability to heal faster and better than others; I guess it’s perhaps innate in her wild nature. I spread a medical salve on her ankle, then wrap it in bandages. “Try not to move it unless necessary and not to load weight on it.” I recommend, even if I doubt she’s going to be any more careful with her ankle than she was so far.

I go on checking the other cuts and scrapings on her legs, cleaning the wounds with a wet cloth and disinfecting them carefully. I try to focus on tending her quickly and efficiently and not getting distracted by her slender lean legs. The way Catra’s muscles flex underneath her skin betrays her suppleness . It makes me think of the nimble graceful way she swaggers and how looking at her movements can be literally magnetic. I remember well when we danced at the Princess Ball, the way she made me spin, the feeling of her body pressed against mine… All this feline charm is quickly becoming heady to me.

Once she notices that I’m done with fixing her lower body and without any cue from me, she pulls off her shirt so now she’s in her panties and strapless bra alone, driving some more heat to my chest and cheeks. I need to focus on my task and stop gleaning details like the freckles scattered on her chest or that she’s a bit more curvy than I am… Heck I’m a lost cause! But it’s not my fault, her body is totally appealing. Beautifully proportioned and perfectly toned. I am taller and stronger than her - we both know that - but when it comes to agility, no one can ever best her. Her skin is smooth as any other and her mocha complexion is totally fascinating. I’ve always liked so much the feline stripes in her arms and legs, they give her a touch of feral and elegance at once. I’ve never looked at her in the same way I do now. So closely and with such intent; it’s like she’s familiar and brand new to me at once.

I feel like I’m kind of cheating cause she doesn’t know that my eyes aren’t totally innocent. Maybe she wouldn’t care anyway, Catra has never been one for formality or modesty and besides we’ve shared the locker room countless times. But letting my look linger for more than is necessary feels wrong anyway. Let alone touching her with the further purpose – other than aiding - to savor her exquisite smoothness.

There are more cuts on her arms and sides and really bad bruises on her abdomen. They look very much like marks left from punches and I recall that Catra said she was tortured after she came back from the last battle. There could be broken ribs there, so I carefully test with my fingers and she winces in pain but her breathing isn’t affected so I know that her lungs are fine. There’s not much to do to fix it, if not trying not to move the area too much, but advising Catra like that is just throwing words to the wind. I do that anyway.

After fixing her arms, I spread some soothing salve on the flat expanse of her belly and I feel like entranced. She’s half lying on the bed propping on her elbows and I’m basically between her legs with my hands working on her midsection. I don’t know how she can be oblivious of my thoughts, when I feel the flush and emotions so burning all over my face.

“You okay Adora?” She breaks the silence and I jump a bit, caught in my illicit fantasizing. I realize that we have both been quiet for a while now.

“Y-Yeah, sure. Why?” I stutter with a raspy voice that I’m afraid is enough to betray my insincerity.

“You’re maroon.” She drops neutral.

“I’m hot.” I sincerely say. _And bothered!_

I keep my gaze away from hers, hurrying to finish with her stomach, when I feel a pinprick in the center of my forehead. I look up and Catra is poking with the claw of her index just in the middle of my forehead. It’s a thing she’s always done since we were kids. Usually when we sparred and she wanted to show me how she could get me at her liking. I used to like this gesture before she started doing it hostilely. I don’t know how she means it now.

She’s smiling at me and it looks a honest smile which leaves me puzzled. “Hey Adora,” She says playfully. “Relax! No need to concentrate till your brain steams.”

“Oh- Huh… Yeah…” I don’t know what to say and her beautiful smile confuses me all the more.

She suddenly takes my face in her hands and pulls me close; my stomach flips and my heart skips a beat or two.

“Maybe you’ve got fever?! It’s not hot at all in here. Rather it’s cool. Show me your pupils.”

She stares closely into my eyes studying the width of my pupils and I feel my temperature rising even higher, plunging into her mismatched eyes.

“Leave me alone, I don’t have fever!” I protest and wiggle to get out of this tricky situation.

“Be quiet and let me check! I let you play doctor, now it’s my turn. Open your mouth.” She’s clearly amused, holding me tighter and closer. I have no idea why she’s this playful now. I surrender, hoping that my flush will decrease if I do as she tells.

“You look weird Adora.” She says with a bit of suspicion after inspecting my oral cavity. Then she sniffs around my face. “You even smell a bit different.” _Damn it, now even my pheromones are giving away my fluster!_ “Tell me what’s going on.”

“Nothing, let go of me!” I protest again trying to break free from her hands, which results in her taking my neck securely in the nook of her elbow with an iron grip.

I immediately freeze… was all this good mood a trick to get the upper hand on me? I scrape my fingers on her arms for purchase but her grasp is steely and from this disadvantageous position I haven’t a chance. I am ensnared. She pulls me closer to her chest and tightens a bit the hold around my neck. I can now feel against my skin the strength of the limbs I have admired just moments ago. And I feel the heat of her body, it gives me chills of excitement and fear at once. She has this incredible ability to bewilder me in the matter of moments. I’m starting to panic. Maybe Glimmer was right and I put my trust in Catra too easily. Maybe I was stupid…

“So what are you hiding?” She hums into my ear, her hair tingling my cheek.

“Nothing! C-Catra…“ I stutter confused.

“C’mon Adora,” She singsongs “I can tell when you lie.”

“I told you! I’m not hiding anything!” My breathing is becoming labored.

“Adora you should really…” She purrs in my ear with a malicious tone and I feel that something bad is going to happen. I shut my eyes and hold my breath.

“…relax!!” She gives me a vigorous noogie. I try to escape but it’s she’s holding me too firmly and cackling loud. I’m freed only when she’s done rubbing her knuckles on my head. “You should have seen your face!” She keeps roaring with laughter while holding her belly.

“What a stupid joke! I hope your stomach hurts now!” I retort acidly, combing with my fingers the hair that escaped from my ponytail and now fall tousled in front of my eyes.

“It’s definitely worth! Oh I missed this! You have no idea how much I wanted to mess that silly bump of hair you keep sporting!” She teases in tears with laughter. I can’t help but smile in return. I haven’t heard this beautiful sound in such a long time. I didn’t miss her noogies at all though!

“When you’re finished with the fun turn around so I can check your back.”

Never ceasing to snigger, she pivots and straightens her back, holding her hair up to clear the area. “There could actually be a cut or two that might benefit your assistance.”

It’ quite rare to see Catra with her hair up. She has always liked her mane to be free, no matter how many times I’ve told her that in battle tied up hair is much more suitable. She would claim that a pony tail was perfect for getting snagged into your enemy’s hands and would prove her point traitorously grabbing my own pony tail. I never knew if her point was vanity - wanting to have distinctive trait from most of the other Horde female soldiers - or maybe because it’s against her wild nature to wear restraints even when it comes to hair. Maybe she actually likes feeling that large bushy clump all over her head and once she fixed the problem of it blocking her sight by wearing an headdress, there was no more debate about her hair style.

The fact remains that when I thought she couldn’t look any more attractive, I find myself staring at her even more smoking with her pretty back and neck exposed like that. But if anything her stupid joke put me out of my excitement so I feel more in control. I also notice freckles on her back and of course some scratches that I proceed to clean and disinfect. When I hear her occasional hissing I can’t repress a pedantic muttered: “Serves you right!” to which she replies with a terse but eloquent snarl.

When I’m finally done she takes her shirt and puts it back on. It’s ripped all over and I notice a tear on her chest in the spot where her Force Captain badge was. I suppose someone tore it away forcibly.

“Take that shirt off.” I tell her and she perks up one of her ears.

“You getting a taste for ordering me to strip?” She replies with a mischievous smirk. “Are all princesses this naughty? I might like it here more than I thought then.”

Catra sure knows how to abash me! “No! I’m not- jeez Catra!”

“Your faces are priceless Adora.” She laughs again and I take mental note that a well fed Catra is a much better spirited Catra. I need to stock salmon somewhere in the kitchens.

“That shirt is falling apart. And it’s all dirty!” I go to the table and take the fold that the guards brought here then toss it to Catra. She changes her shirt for the red tank top she is given then takes the new pants, looks at them for a moment and throws them away.

“What’s wrong now?” I ask exasperate. “You wanna stay in panties and parade your beautiful lean legs in front of the naughty princesses?”

“No silly!” She grumbles, but it’s mixed with a bit of fluster. “But I can’t wear those pants!”

She takes her old pants that even she reckons have basically more holes than fabric left. She tosses them to join the other pair on the floor and hugs her knees to her chest with a grunt and a frown.

I pick the new black pants and give at those a look. “What’s wrong with these? They look okay.” But before she replies I recall this thing from when we were children.

Shadow Weaver was appointed with training me and Catra since we were small kids, but also raising us and teaching things like reading and tying boots - Catra never learned that part really… Anyway she also provided clothes for us as we grew up and every time she brought us a new change Catra’s pants never fit well cause they lacked an opening for her tail. Apparently it was a small thing, but in fact it degraded a little Catra how Shadow Weaver not even once bothered to notice that she needed such obvious feature in her clothes. The first time it happened we were very small. She tried to fix the pants with her claws, but she messed them up and they got ruined and good for trash. I knew a bit how to use needle and thread so I offered to mend them. The job turned out well done and she was so grateful to me. She looked at me like I was a hero… I remember how it made me feel seeing the admiration gleaming in her eyes. That was one of those first countless little things that united us and brought us to be inseparable. Since that time there was this unspoken agreement between us that it was on me to fix her pants and even if I’m quite sure that she eventually learned to do that herself, we kept this habit.

I just walk to the table, swiftly clean the knife of the cutlery and use it to set an opening on the pants. I take a mental note that prisoners shouldn’t be given such sharpened objects and to suggest that to the warden. Then I hand the pants to Catra and she doesn’t say a word, but wears them and then stands up wagging the tail a few times. She nods and then proceeds to rip the fabric at knees height – like she always does, to have more freedom of movements – which tells me that she is okay with them.

“Are we finished playing doctor?” She asks a bit nervously, taking a seat in one of the chairs.

“You’re welcome.” It’s my turn to smirk. “And not yet. We need to put your pretty face back in order too.”

I move the other chair close to hers and sit down, then stretch my hands to remove her headdress.

“Hey hey hey!!” She barks suddenly angry, backing off. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

I look at her perplexed. She was calm moments ago and now on the edge for no reason. “You need to take off your headdress, I can’t tend you properly otherwise.”

She grunts in return and takes it off so carefully that it seems she believes it’s made of crystal, when it’s just a stupid piece of tin that she obstinately wears apparently thinking that it’s a crown. She places it on the table the farthest from me. I don’t know why she’s acting this odd, but I decide not to linger on this and just start with cleaning the cuts on her face.

Again we fall back in silence and it seems to me that in the little time I’ve spent here with her in this cell so much has happened. It’s because of the wide scope of emotions she can stir into me and they range from one opposite to the other. It’s kind of exhausting, but also thrilling. You never get bored with Catra.

“You have a weird face again.” She mutters after a while, but she sounds neutral now.

“Stay still.” I scold her. “Are you going to sniff me again?”

“Nah. What are you thinking of?”

“I’m just…” It’s odd the way she can easily catch me off guard. “Happy that you’re here.”

“In a Rebellion jail, yeah! Where I belong, right?!” She’s trying to be blunt, but I know better.

“Stay still! No I don’t mean that.” I pat the cotton on her split cheekbone and she winces. “With me.”

She looks at me suspicious, but doesn’t scowl neither talks back about how we wouldn’t have parted hadn’t I left in the first place.

“But your friends, they want me in jail.” She grumbles. “What’s going to be of me?”

“It’s up to the Queen to decide. Glimmer is talking to her now.”

“Then I’m cooked!” She scoffs bitingly. “I’m going to rot in this swanky cell!”

“Oh come on don’t be dramatic!” I gently nudge her shoulder and snigger a bit. “If anything the food seemed to suit you well.”

“Passable.” She mutters brazen, as if I hadn’t seen her polishing off every single dish.

“And this cell isn’t half bad.” I pile it on. She growls in return and I chuckle. “You think too that they put fancy crystals, glitter and girlish color in here as a form of torture?”

“You can bet!” She barks, and I laugh openly. She can’t repress her own laughter.

“You should have seen the bed they first gave me!” I reply cheerfully. “Flashing fuchsia and so soft that I ended up wrecking it! I had to ask for a harder one!”

“What?! You mean that the one you have now is the hard type?!” She’s halfway shocked and amused and we both laugh again.

I tell her of that time when I was ordered to wear a flower to mingle with people or that other time when I was told that lying down on a beach perfectly still would relax me. She laughs with me and for a moment everything feels like before, when she and I were thick and thieves. When we basked in a camaraderie that was only ours and we always had each other’s back. And it’s so unexpectedly nice having someone who shares my same background within the walls of this still foreign castle. After the mirth has faded I feel confident enough to ask a thing that’s been swirling in my head for a while.

“Can I ask you something?

“That’s a pleonasm.” She absently drops, still smiling and carefully putting her headdress back in place with that quirky attention as before.

“What?!”

“Asking if you can ask something is a question per se. so it’s a redundancy, an unnecessary-… Ah nevermind! There’s this new member in the Horde who talks incomprehensibly all the time. She must have rubbed off on me her weird talking.”

I feel a sudden sort of irritation and unnatural curiosity to know who’s this member of the Horde Catra has been spending enough time with – in the not that long span I haven’t been there - to be rubbed off of an enlarged vocabulary.

“Is that Scorpia?” I ask trying to sound casual.

“Oh no she’s the handsy one… Wait, she has no hands… The clawsy one then… Ah nevermind! The one who hugs all the time.”

 _Hugs?!?_ My irritation doubles in a moment. I had noticed a definitely remarkable familiarity between Catra and Scorpia at the Princesses Ball – although mostly from the clawed princess’ side – but I had no idea there was touching involved. _Hugs?!?_ Since when Catra allows someone to hug her?! Someone who’s not me, in the night, in our old bunk… What if Catra is sharing the bunk with someone else now? Stars, I never thought of this… I need to know more about this new fellowship Catra has been hanging out with! But I don’t want her to glimpse my curiosity. And I know that Catra is way smarter than me with these things to be tricked. But curiosity gets the best of me.

“Seems like you get along well with her.” I drop nonchalantly thinking that such affirmation is neutral enough, but she susses that something is going on with me instantly. I know that from the malicious curl that blooms in the corner of her mouth.

“You’re not the only one who busied herself getting replacements.” She counters with a sneer.

“I didn’t do anything like that.” I reply coldly. “And – unlike someone - I’m not displeased if you make new friends. But in your case the choice is rather questionable.” Somehow I feel like the poor choice isn’t the only reason why I’m adverse to Catra’s new friendship, but she doesn’t need to know it.

“Oh sure. As long as you endorsed the Horde everything was fine with it, but now that you turned against it, it’s all crap. You don’t even know Scorpia.”

“I know enough of her to have an idea!”

“Yeah the kind of sniffy ideas the princess are drumming into your head! You forgot who you are and where you come from!”

“For the stars not this story again!” I throw my arms in the air. We’ve talked this thing over and over and we never find a common ground. “Fine, you’re right. You can hang out, or hug, or share the bunk with whomever you want and it’s none of my business.”

 _Heck I my stupid mouth went too far!_ Catra looks at me with a mischievous smirk and a raised eyebrow. Both ears up.

“That’s interesting. It bothers you who I hug or sleep with.”

“I never said that!” I sound horribly petulant, but I can’t help myself. I cross my arms around my chest.

“I know you too well Adora.” She purrs confident curling a tuck of dark hair around her finger.

“Yeah, dream on!” _Jeez, a toddler would act more maturely… how can I be like this?!_

“You are jealous.” She singsongs utterly amused. She got it even before I realized it properly.

“No I’m not.” I lie feeling silly like I sound and her smirk seems to spread from one ear to the other.

“Yes you are.” She glides close to me in her usual invasive way, with her face inches away from mine, then she whispers. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

Her smile is mischievous, but I kind of see something else. It’s like the edges of her expression are softened and I wonder if it’s still the effect of the good meal reflecting on her mood.

“Whatever.” I step away from her proximity, not willing to let her spell catch me again now, even if it tempts me so much. If she wants the last word so be it, but I’m done blushing for today!

“I’ve forbidden Scorpia to hug me, but she can’t seem to help herself. And as Force Captain I had a quarter on my own. No bunks and no sharing.”

I feel totally relieved, but I try my best not to let it showed. And I’m surprised of Catra’s unexpected act of kindness… maybe I should call it pity.

She’s still smiling all amused and confident, but she decides that she’s satisfied for now. “So, ask.” She just says.

“Ask? What?”

“You asked if you could ask me something. Go ahead.”

I recall my question and seize my chance to pose it now that she seems to be in good disposition. Who knows when I might not get another chance.

“Do you remember when we first met after I left the Horde? In that town, Thaymor.”

Her face becomes immediately dark. This isn’t a good memory. “Yes I do.”

“You told me then that you knew that Shadow Weaver had been messing with our heads since we were kids. How?”

“She lied to us all the time obviously. And… else than that.”

“Tell me Catra. Please.”

She huffs crossing her arms around her chest and turns her gaze sideway. “She used her magic. Entered into our heads. Messed with memories… deleting, altering and who knows what else. Most likely she made Hordak’s claims believable to us. ‘ _Trying to make things better for Etheria. More orderly_ ’… sure thing! Bombs and shooting robots are known tools to keep things tidy.”

I look at Catra surprised. We never talked about politic back in the Fright Zone. I blindly believed what I was told. But Catra… she built her independent critical opinion. And decided to stick with the Horde nonetheless… I set this aside for the moment, cause I need to know more about what was done to my head.

“She tried to condition me when I went to the Fright Zone to rescue Glimmer. But I was unaware that she’d done that to me before. How did you know about it?”

Her face becomes even darker. “I remember her doing that to us.”

“How? Why don’t I have recollections of this?”

“I just remember.” She cuts short. “I have this memory of the first time it happened. Or at least what I think was the first time. We were just little kids. And after that one… I couldn’t forget it… many other times ensued.”

“If we were inflicted the same treatment, why don’t I remember anything?”

“Because you were her favorite!” Catra blurts exasperated and angry. I don’t know what I did wrong, but she seems mad at me now. And I don’t get how what she just said has to do with the matter. But I know better to wait until Catra is ready to reveal more. Eventually she calms down and finally tells me. “The treatments were… unpleasant to use an euphemism. She erased the memories of those from your mind.”

“But not from yours…” I mumble, starting to process this big thing. How much of my memories were taken away? Who was really the woman who grew me up? How much did this all affect Catra?

“Would you tell me about that first time? I want to try to figure this out.”

Catra exhales deeply and drops sitting on the bed. “I haven’t thought about it for a long time. It’s a blurred memory, but somehow… a strong one. Very strong.” She trails off for some moments with a dim expression, perhaps browsing her recollection. She finally speaks again.

“Can we talk about it another time? I could use some rest now.”

“Oh… sure.” She actually looks in need for sleep, but I’m afraid I might lose the shot to know more about this. She probably reads my concern and reassures me.

“I will tell you, I promise.” She means it, I can tell.

“All right Catra. Rest well.” I gently squeeze her upper arm and walk to the door. The guards come swiftly at my call and I turn to look at her one last time. It feels completely weird to walk away leaving her behind in a cell, but I have no choice. It feels wrong. Her expression is still blank and she just nods while I walk past the door.

 

+++

 

Catra walks into the privy and turns on the tap, washing her hands and face with cold water. She looks at her face into the mirror and studies her features. Her façade is still blank and perfectly unreadable. The water keeps running even if she’s done with washing and her expression drops the neutral appearance to reveal a malicious smile and an evil glint in her eyes.

 _Foolish Rebels. Such a luxury like a private space granted to a prisoner._ She thinks to herself.

She touches the inner side of her headdress, close by her right ear, turning on a tiny switch hidden in there. A static noise creeps into her ear. It goes on for some moments, while she paces from one wall to the other of the small privy, searching for the best spot for reception.

“Puma to Chela and Medusa, Puma to Chela and Medusa…” She softly repeats it some more times, before clicking her tongue and snorting. “This is ridiculous! Who the hell chose these stupid code names then…?”

“It was me!” Scorpia’s enthusiastic voice buzzes from the mini transceiver embedded into Catra’s headdress. “And I’m very proud of them!”

“I had no doubt.” Catra grunts sarcastic.

“Wow, it works! Amazing! And the transmission is perfectly clear.” Entrapta chips in.

“Why do you sound so surprised?!” Catra asks furrowing her eyebrows.

“Mmmh, uncountable and tricky variables.” The Princess of Dryl quickly mumbles unconcerned of Catra’s not so veiled imply. “Did the device pass unobserved in your hairband?”

“It’s not an hairband! But yes, everything went fine. No one noticed or detected any tech on me.”

“First Ones stealth technology is miles ahead than what-“

“So how did the infiltration go?! Did they buy it?” Eager Scorpia brusquely interrupts Entrapta’s praise for the ancient scientists.

“I’m finally in, but it would have been easier reaching Bright Moon if I wasn’t kicked out of the Fright Zone with no equipment or supplies at all!”

“Sorry about that… Lord Hordak’s orders, you know...” Scorpia replies half way between worried and embarrassed. “He said that it would make your story much more credible.”

“As much as a thorough beating before being escorted out of the Fright Zone.” Entrapta points out.

“Yeah, send my greetings to Lonnie and tell her that I’m going to return the favor once I’m back.” Catra mutters, massaging her ribcage.

“So what information have you gathered so far?” Entrapta focuses back.

“Basically nothing. The infiltration wasn’t seamless.”

“What do you mean?!?” Scorpia roars. “What did they do to you?! Are you hurt? Do you need rescue?! The Super Pal Trio is ready to leave, just say the word!”

“Curb your enthusiasm Sco- Chela. I just need some time to work on them properly. For now I’m in jail so I guess it’s going to take a while. But Adora…” Catra scoffs amused. “I know how to push her buttons and she’s already close to believing me. It’s going to be easy peasy with my delicate _princess_. Others will be harder to deceive - especially Princess Chubby - but once Adora is by my side I bet she’ll go great length to have others accepting me. She’s going to be my little brainless pawn.”

“We need all the intel you can provide from there. Maps, workings, logistics, technology… Whatever is helpful.” Entrapta stresses out. “Hordak insists all the time that we need a shrewd approach now that the Horde has lost so many-“

“Keep quiet! You know that Hordak doesn’t want that thing to be told, not even in the most secure of the communications!”

“And I’ve told him that with the equipment of my lab in Dryl I could work so much better and set up a cryptography that makes communication safe. With my stuff all of the things I’m doing now would be improved!”

“I know and we’ve told him that repeatedly. But you know that he doesn’t deem a priority to officially conquer Dryl now.”

“My robots are there all alone… They can’t wait forever!”

“Actually they can so stop fussing around! I’ll pass all the information I find out and you keep going with the attacks from time to time, so they won’t suspect anything.”

“Oh I’m so looking forward to the second part of the mission.” Scorpia giggles. “Entrapta has the material ready. It’s going to be great fun.”

“Sure it will.” Catra utters darkly. “We better close now.”

“We’ll look forward to hear from you!” Scorpia declares with emphasis to which Catra replies with a frustrated huff. “And tell us if you need rescue!”

“Yeah, yeah. Over and out.”

Catra turns off the switch and then the tap. She looks into the mirror shedding her malicious expression and revealing another inner layer of herself; this one is a grim face.

“You aren’t going to make it any easy for me, are you Adora?”

The mirror keeps quiet and Catra trudges to the bed for some needed rest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there it is... some plot twist and some hints about what i will develop next. i really hope you liked this and if so, i would be really glad to read your comments.  
> on a side note i want to say that i first heard of the word 'pleonasm' so very many years ago (it's basically the same in my mother language) and that word remained stuck in my head since then. i put it to use.  
> another note is that i thought of the code names before i watched season 2 and i'm happy with those i came up with! although Medusa could be meaningless in a world that doesn't know the greek mythology... i thought who cares! it's cool and fitting.


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